New here - hello!

Hi - I'm new to this site.  Over the years I've suspected that my daughter  was on the spectrum.  After numerous assessments with various people we finally have a diagnosis.  

I guess at the moment I'm finding it really tough to deal with.  She is very unpredictable and can become angry, panicky, insecure, physical almost with out warning and is particularly horrible to us as parents and also her siblings .  I feel she wears me down and at times I feel as if she causes me to almost have panic attacks as she can spiral out of control so quickly and causes chaos within the house.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and am looking forward to using the discussion forum to help keep me sane!

  • Hi again - a bit too early for me to go to bed Smile.   Yes, what you say makes sense - your feelings aren't unusual - check out other posts.  A number of autistic people have time management issues so check that 1 out as well for tips etc.  My son gets easily distracted so we remind him on every 10 mins or so, if need be,  as to what he shd be doing.  We find a low key approach works best for him.  He does not like being bossed around, as he wd interpret it.  Also, how's she doing at school.  It can be v stressful for our children.  Some keep all their stress locked inside themselves whilst at school + then it pours out when they get home.  She sounds like she's got stacks of anxiety going on so anything that can be done to help in that direction wd be vg for her.  I can't emphasise enough how useful this site is to help with such things.  There used to be something called a statement of educational needs which meant a child wd be assessed, statemented, so that they got the help they needed at school, such as a teaching assistant.  It's called something else now but it might be worth checking that out for her via the home pg or the ipsea site, if you think it wd help.  Also there are books you can get that explain about autism in a way an autistic child can understand.  A search of the posts shd give you that info, also amazon sell some.  

  • Hi! Thanks for replying. She's 9 ( her sister is 11 and her brother 5).  Yes the diagnosis is new ( confirmed just before the summer).  It may sound strange (and hard to admit) but I feel as if I'm grieving for the child I thought I had ... Does that make sense? I worry for her and her future. We are up and down coping with it. Sometimes we're calm and support each other and other times we all blow up and argue. She has recently been recognising she is different from others and we have had some really sensitive conversations around this.  Her biggest triggers are time ... She can't organise herself, and even with a constant count down always panics at the end as she's not ready. The other big trigger is if she doesn't get her own way / things don't go to the plan she has in her head.  

    I find trying to balance home, my daughter, the others and work an emotional nightmare and feel as if I'm suffocating sometimes. Does that make sense??

  • Hi Angelina, welcome to the site.  How old's your daughter?   You sound stressed out but also sane Smile.  Is the diagnosis new?  I'm asking because even when a diagnosis is expected it can still be an emotional time for all concerned, inc. your daughter.  How are everyone handling it?  Also, do you know why she spirals out of control v quickly?  There will be a reason.  Lots of info via the posts + the home pg so have a look around if you haven't already.   Chip in whenever you want + ask whatever you want.  Smile