• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 71 subscribers
  • Views 40 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Diagnosed at 27 and struggling

jjtx

Hello! I’m Jodie and I was diagnosed with Autism at 27. I have struggled with social skills and fitting in all my life and this helped me understand that. I am now 28 nearly 29 and seem to be struggling more than ever! I struggle massively with working, I work full time and it drains me so much, I cry on the way to work every morning because I am so anxious, the small talk, the masking, the environment, the recovery time - it’s all too much! I struggle with life in general, communicating, emotions, everything seems so hard every day and I don’t know where to turn! I am planning on applying for PIP and finding a part time job but due to living alone I have bills to pay. 

Is there anyone who is open for a chat or any advice? Or is this autistic life and I need to find out what works. 

Thanks 

Jodie Blush 

Parents

  • Hello.

    28 was one of times things went wrong for me. It seems late 20's or 30'ish is when it seems hard. You think life should be going well, but it doesn't feel like it is, and progress seems hard and slow, or just elusive.

    The best advice I can give, is to

    1. stop trying too hard, don't feel guilty for relaxing or spending days doing nothing,
    2. try not to feel bad about being upset, it's fine,
    3. try to stop worrying about not being good enough, just do what you can, you don't need to do more than others, you are good enough as you are,
    4. try to stop thinking about work when you are not there, they are not paying you for that,
    5. try to find a way to relax in the evening,
    6. try to make sure you sleep properly, I know this is the hardest, but it affects everything,
    7. try not to replay conversations, most people don't focus on the words as much as you think, talk is for bonding and socialising, but for the content. Strangely, the more relaxed you are, the more natural you are, and the better you fit in. Trying to fit in doesn't work as well as you might think.
    8. emotions are hard, try to notice what you feel, but don't feel good or bad, just note it, note that it passes. Things which feel super important at one point are much less important after you sleep or when relaxed, which is normal. You are not broken.
    9. You can do it. Don't give up, you are doing well, better than you probably think. Try not to compare yourself to others. Consider what is working and it is probably better than you think. The mind focuses on the negatives or things that are missing, not on what going well.
    10. Life is not that easy though. Everybody struggles, some more than others, but you don't see it. Don't assume you are doing so badly. You just need to ease up a bit.
    11. Remember to take days off 
    12. Try to get out, I know public spaces can be more risky these days on your own, but maybe museums, national trust places, it somewhere with some land or space or quiet, that is not home.

    Some of this may not make sense, or feel impossible to do. It may take time.

    If I'd told myself this at the time I probably would have pushed back it ignored it.

Reply

  • Hello.

    28 was one of times things went wrong for me. It seems late 20's or 30'ish is when it seems hard. You think life should be going well, but it doesn't feel like it is, and progress seems hard and slow, or just elusive.

    The best advice I can give, is to

    1. stop trying too hard, don't feel guilty for relaxing or spending days doing nothing,
    2. try not to feel bad about being upset, it's fine,
    3. try to stop worrying about not being good enough, just do what you can, you don't need to do more than others, you are good enough as you are,
    4. try to stop thinking about work when you are not there, they are not paying you for that,
    5. try to find a way to relax in the evening,
    6. try to make sure you sleep properly, I know this is the hardest, but it affects everything,
    7. try not to replay conversations, most people don't focus on the words as much as you think, talk is for bonding and socialising, but for the content. Strangely, the more relaxed you are, the more natural you are, and the better you fit in. Trying to fit in doesn't work as well as you might think.
    8. emotions are hard, try to notice what you feel, but don't feel good or bad, just note it, note that it passes. Things which feel super important at one point are much less important after you sleep or when relaxed, which is normal. You are not broken.
    9. You can do it. Don't give up, you are doing well, better than you probably think. Try not to compare yourself to others. Consider what is working and it is probably better than you think. The mind focuses on the negatives or things that are missing, not on what going well.
    10. Life is not that easy though. Everybody struggles, some more than others, but you don't see it. Don't assume you are doing so badly. You just need to ease up a bit.
    11. Remember to take days off 
    12. Try to get out, I know public spaces can be more risky these days on your own, but maybe museums, national trust places, it somewhere with some land or space or quiet, that is not home.

    Some of this may not make sense, or feel impossible to do. It may take time.

    If I'd told myself this at the time I probably would have pushed back it ignored it.

Children
No Data