My 29yo son has not left the house in over 5 years...

I can relate.

I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD-i in my early 50s, my son was assessed when he was a child, he's now 25. I managed to get him a job collecting trolleys where I work but he was canned as he wouldn't/couldn't keep to the schedule he was given.

I've tried to coax and push him into training/experience rolls but he just either doesn't attend or just gives up. As he's an adult I'm not in the loop unless he wants me there and he doesn't.

He exists in his room, gaming and sleeping, he generally appears at meal times or some time after I've gone to bed.

We've had the discussion regarding his future and what would happen if something happened to either myself or his mum but it just doesn't seem to matter. My wife has now been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, so part of that prospect is very real!

We are currently okay financially but that could change if we go down to one wage.

He won't even mention to the job centre that he's autistic as he doesn't want to appear different, he's always been like that. He gets some sort of benefit (which he won't discuss with me) but I'm sure the job centre will lose patience at some point.

It's a really difficult situation and I can't see a way out of it?

Some people may be addicted to gaming and it can negatively effect them. One of my nephews my sister got them a gaming console before their GCSE's and they became quite hooked at playing at night and it affected some of their exam preparation. They could play with strangers online to.  I don't know if that happened to your son or perhaps it didn't . Soon children under 16 some of this will be banned online gaming on consoles. Perhaps it could be a talking point with your son to see if he thinks it affected him. May be it stole some of his life. May be he can do something about if he knows this if it is so. If he has an addiction he can get help from a counsellor. 

If your wife needs to be hospitalised at some point doesn't your son want to be able to visit at some point. That can something to work towards if it is happens. 

Starting local and in a car can be good for some like to go a park etc. Depending on where you live he may be able to get mobility transport to and perhaps a freedom travel card. 

My nephew stopped his obsessive playing with games and went onto have a son and works.

Some people may be addicted to gaming and it can negatively effect them. One of my nephews my sister got them a gaming console before their GCSE's and they became quite hooked at playing at night and it affected some of their exam preparation. They could play with strangers online to.  I don't know if that happened to your son or perhaps it didn't . Soon children under 16 some of this will be banned online gaming on consoles. Perhaps it could be a talking point with your son to see if he thinks it affected him. May be it stole some of his life. May be he can do something about if he knows this if it is so. If he has an addiction he can get help from a counsellor. 

If your wife needs to be hospitalised at some point doesn't your son want to be able to visit at some point. That can something to work towards if it is happens. 

Starting local and in a car can be good for some like to go a park etc. Depending on where you live he may be able to get mobility transport to and perhaps a freedom travel card. 

My nephew stopped his obsessive playing with games and went onto have a son and works.

He's perfectly capable of working (from the outside), he's very intelligent, funny and hugely infuriating. To be honest, he barely acts as we exist, as long as he has a roof over his head and food in the fridge he's more than content!