Hi everyone,
I’m new to the forum, so I wanted to introduce myself. I’m a 52-year-old man, and I’m here because I’m trying to understand autistic burnout and what recovery might realistically look like.
I’ve had a lot of good things in my life. I have a beautiful, very supportive partner and two lovely children, one of whom is autistic. I’ve also spent much of my working life working with autistic young people, and I think I suspected (or knew) I was autistic from the moment I started doing that work. There was a recognition there that I couldn’t quite ignore. Within my professional sphere I'm senior and well respected - but that being said I don't feel able to continue.
What I didn’t appreciate, though, was the degree to which I was masking. I think I built a life around coping, adapting, reading situations, managing other people’s expectations, and pushing through. For a long time I could do it, or at least I thought I could. But now I feel like I can’t do it anymore.
At the moment I’m really struggling. I’m finding it hard to get out of bed, I’m exhausted all the time, and my sleep is all over the place: sometimes I sleep a lot, and sometimes I barely sleep at all. My hair is falling out, and I have high blood pressure. I've changed frorm someone who was comfortable managing a team or speaking in front of a grouo od expers, and right now I struggle to organise and cook a simple meal. I know some of that needs proper medical attention, and I’m not looking for medical advice here, but I do feel as though my body and mind are telling me very clearly that I can’t carry on as I have been. It's deeply unsettling. I don't know who I am any more.
The exhaustion feels deeper than ordinary tiredness. Things I used to manage now feel much harder, and I’m trying to understand what has happened without turning it into self-blame. I’m also trying to work out what recovery means when masking has been such a big part of how I got through life.
I’d really value hearing from other autistic adults, especially people who have experienced burnout in midlife or after years of masking. How did you recognise what was happening? What helped you recover or reduce the pressure? Were there things you had to stop doing, change, or accept? And where am I meant to turn for help?
I’m not looking for medical advice, just lived experience and peer support from people who understand this from the inside. I’m hoping this might be a place where I can be honest, learn from others, and feel a bit less alone.
Thanks for reading.
