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New but late diagnosis at 44 - Life turned upside down

Flower1234

Hello

I have recently been diagnosed with ASD at the age of 44, I am hoping to find people with similar experiences and hopefully get some advice with how to cope with this diagnosis.  I have no friends to talk to, social situations have always been a massive fear for me, no family that understand and my partner left me and moved out yesterday. 

I am struggling to see the point in carrying on, but I have to for my 2 children and dog.

I wish life didn't have to be so hard, I'd just like to feel more positive but am struggling to see a way through all of this.

Any advice to make this a little less miserable of an existence please?

Parents

  • When i got my diagnosis there was a bit of "alchemy" that seemed to take place.

    Somehow one might be tempted to think that some sort of magical and miraculous transformation could be around the corner.

    Truth is it's the shifts in perspective and attitude that bring clarity.

    truthfully for me the clarity I got was of a whole load of poo to start with -as I analysed my situation and past events (the negative ones carry more weight to start with i found)

    having been in a bit of a slough of despondency that took months to get out of and been pushed back in by a few "bad faith actors" I maybe have a bit of an insight into how you feel

    maybe the thing is when we get older we are able to maybe learn the lessons of our youth

    and then whether we play and have a happy time or wail away life fearing it eventually becomes a bit more of a choice one can make

    I was feeling a bit poo earlier on - sorry for myself and other autistic people who maybe get a tough time in society.

    I walked the dogs and felt the sun on my back and cracked a couple of jokes (trying not to do so in a cruel way that can come from being down about things) and I'm writing this to you feeling pretty OK

    It gets better for me.  So on my evidence it can get better for you too  

    Best wishes

  • in reply to Phased

    I like this approach to explaining the problem. It is about self realisation and that often comes when we feel we need help most. Like the expectation that diagnosis means access to additional services or help. What helps me is getting back to me, like going full circle which sometimes takes years, or a few decades to realise what I already knew. Largely that acceptance will take a long time and the way people who look or think different are treated is harder for them than it is for others to notice how they are treating them.

  • in reply to pietro_21

    Yes I didn't expect to be diagnosed and that's it, how can that be fair at any age let alone when you have lived your whole life not knowing who you really are.

    It is going to take a while to accept, that is true.

    Thank you for your reply. 

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