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New but late diagnosis at 44 - Life turned upside down

Flower1234

Hello

I have recently been diagnosed with ASD at the age of 44, I am hoping to find people with similar experiences and hopefully get some advice with how to cope with this diagnosis.  I have no friends to talk to, social situations have always been a massive fear for me, no family that understand and my partner left me and moved out yesterday. 

I am struggling to see the point in carrying on, but I have to for my 2 children and dog.

I wish life didn't have to be so hard, I'd just like to feel more positive but am struggling to see a way through all of this.

Any advice to make this a little less miserable of an existence please?

Parents

  • Hi fellow 'Lateling'

    That is exactly how I felt when I was diagnosed 3 years ago. I was in my fifties so can totally empathise. It turned my life upside down and inside out for both good and for the worse.

    I now had the knowledge of why so many things in my life had gone wrong or certainly not as I hoped. Knowledge is power or so they say.

    All I can tell you is that you will go through several stage during your adjustment to your diagnosis. I felt grief, at the lost opportunities, closely followed by anger about my past. Only when I had came through these (I do still loop back at times) did I start to realise I was never broken by autism but by an unforgiving neurotypical world that either did not or could not understand me completely.

    I will say this to you to be kind to yourself as it is not your fault. If you can do that then you are on the right path.

  • in reply to Mr T

    Yes it certainly has turned my life upside down, that's exactly how I feel.

    My ex partner could not understand why I couldn't just all of a sudden accept I'm autistic and carry on like nothing has changed, it doesn't change who you are he told me. But for me its changed everything, I am also in Perimenopause which is life changing on its own.

    I definitely feel grief, if I had known I was autistic maybe life could have been easier. Your comment about never being broken feels so true, I've just never fitted in and always given myself a hard time as to why I cant just be like everyone else.

    Thank you for your reply. 

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  • in reply to Mr T

    Yes it certainly has turned my life upside down, that's exactly how I feel.

    My ex partner could not understand why I couldn't just all of a sudden accept I'm autistic and carry on like nothing has changed, it doesn't change who you are he told me. But for me its changed everything, I am also in Perimenopause which is life changing on its own.

    I definitely feel grief, if I had known I was autistic maybe life could have been easier. Your comment about never being broken feels so true, I've just never fitted in and always given myself a hard time as to why I cant just be like everyone else.

    Thank you for your reply. 

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