New but late diagnosis at 44 - Life turned upside down

Hello. This seems cruel timing. Just when you would like some support.

If there is a positive you have time to yourself to think, to find who you are. You can focus on yourself without people pleasing, confusion and pressure.

The struggle to carry on is one I have been struggling with at times (my emotions come and go). The root cause is disappointment that all the effort didn't lead to the outcome you wanted, that even now you know why things are hard you still have the same life.

This is not helpful framing though. You coped managed and made it this far, without knowing. You probably have more than you think.

Being able to look forwards, to see hope, to make things better, requires calm. Different modes affect thinking. Stress narrows your view, tiredness amplifies emotions. A positive outlook needs a calm nervous system. It will take time and there will be ups and downs.

Try to be kind to yourself and remember you matter. You matter very much to at least the children and dog. You are still special. Nobody controls what is in your head but you. Try to make things as simple as possible, do hard things on the morning, not afternoon or evening. You have more energy then. Try not to do too many things at one time, don't save them all up, it gets overwhelming.

Try to find a little something that is just yours. Journalling helps too. You can write what you really think. Putting thoughts into words organises them. You may also see your views change depending on how you feel. This confirms that perspective is not fixed. Try to record any little successes. The mind is designed to focus on negatives and forgets or downplays positives. Seeing them written down will help.

Hello. This seems cruel timing. Just when you would like some support.

If there is a positive you have time to yourself to think, to find who you are. You can focus on yourself without people pleasing, confusion and pressure.

The struggle to carry on is one I have been struggling with at times (my emotions come and go). The root cause is disappointment that all the effort didn't lead to the outcome you wanted, that even now you know why things are hard you still have the same life.

This is not helpful framing though. You coped managed and made it this far, without knowing. You probably have more than you think.

Being able to look forwards, to see hope, to make things better, requires calm. Different modes affect thinking. Stress narrows your view, tiredness amplifies emotions. A positive outlook needs a calm nervous system. It will take time and there will be ups and downs.

Try to be kind to yourself and remember you matter. You matter very much to at least the children and dog. You are still special. Nobody controls what is in your head but you. Try to make things as simple as possible, do hard things on the morning, not afternoon or evening. You have more energy then. Try not to do too many things at one time, don't save them all up, it gets overwhelming.

Try to find a little something that is just yours. Journalling helps too. You can write what you really think. Putting thoughts into words organises them. You may also see your views change depending on how you feel. This confirms that perspective is not fixed. Try to record any little successes. The mind is designed to focus on negatives and forgets or downplays positives. Seeing them written down will help.