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Newly Diagnosed AuDHD.. feel like an imposter

tanyak

Hello all,

42yr old female and mother of 3 - diagnosed with ADHD and Autism just yesterday. ADHD made sense, and I went ahead with the Autism assessment, because my therapists and diagnosticians suggested I do so. I thought my life experiences were normal. So I was completely shocked to receive a diagnosis.

As this is so new, I am reading through Autism material online, and honestly, I feel like such an imposter. There are so many people that have it worse than me. Even my son has issues with interoception, back and forth conversation, etc, and I feel wrong taking this label, when he is still on the waiting list for one. I have had issues with friendships, social cues, executive functioning etc all my life - however I feel awful describing myself as someone with a disability, when clearly, I am okay in comparison to others.

Anyone else feel this way? I feel embarrassed to tell others about my diagnosis (even family) because I fear no one will believe me (I don't really believe it myself).  Somehow I feel like I have managed to convince myself that I have Autism, because I researched it to the death before my assessment. Maybe I just convinced the assessors, and managed to pass the test - so this is all just a huge mistake????

  • in reply to tanyak

    thank you so much - may I ask how long you waited for yours after referral? :) 

  • in reply to jayjayxxx

    Absolutely.. I guess we are so used to seeing patterns so not being able to recognise it in ourselves is very confusing.. Good luck with your assessments!

  • I just had my first GP appointment and got my referrals for Autism and ADHD and I feel like I am making this all up too Joy I try to think that the tests and doctors know how to look past potential "lying" and that such act would theoretically be paired with other behaviours that we do not dispose anyway!

    It is hilarious how hard we are on ourselves!! We are just a bit different :) 

  • in reply to profdanger

    Thank you so much profdanger, and greetings to you too :) It is tricky isnt it.. I guess it is going to take time to get used to the idea, and I love Dr Megan Neff's work - she explains concepts so clearly, so I will give her book a read. I am sure there is a lot of internalised Ableism at work inside me. I have to learn to sit with things and feel comfortable with it. Thank you <3

  • in reply to Lotus

    Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me - I will definitely give it a watch, thank you for validating me xxx

  • Good morning from America, tanyak!

    When I was diagnosed, I was told by the psychologist that I am “borderline Autistic,” so yeah, I totally understand the imposter syndrome. However, if you get the diagnosis, that means you at least meet the diagnostic criteria to be considered Autistic. All of us need a little more support, but for those of us on the boundary that means we can get by with minimal support. That’s okay. You’re still Autistic.

    If you want more material to dig into, Dr. Megan Neff’s “Self-Care for Autistic People” is an excellent and easy read. You might be surprised that some of her strategies could really help you in little ways. It helped me to realize that even though I don’t need as much support as many other Autistics, there are little things that I can do to make my life a little easier.

  • Dear tanyak, 

    Welcome to the community. Congratulations on your diagnosis. We hope you find this site warm, friendly and informative. 

    If you would like to explore our advice and guidance you could start with the diagnosis section. Please find the link here:

    www.autism.org.uk/.../diagnosis

    With best wishes, 

    Anna Mod

  • Hi and welcome to the community. Don't worry, imposter syndrome is common in autistic adults. A lot of us appear "normal", but we're still autistic.

    I suggest you watch the documentary "unmasking autism" with Christine McGuinness on BBC iPlayer if you haven't seen it already. It's very informative about autism in women.