Hello, this is my first time posting.
I had my assessment on Wednesday and have been diagnosed with Autism, Level 1.
I feel relieved and at the same time overwhelmed to get the diagnosis at 54.
My brother, who's son(my nephew) is autistic is being supportive as is a friend with autism.
My closest friend was very dismissive when I told her, saying "then you're slightly autistic" & "that alot of people are."
Just wanting to connect with people who understand.
Hi Amy congratulations on your diagnosis, welcome here too. I hope you like the online community here, there are always so many interesting conversations to join.
Hello latediagnosed,
Thank you for replying & sorry to hear you've had a similar experience when telling people.
I already feel better from reaching out to people who understand, I hope you do too.
Hi Amy23 !
Congrats and welcome to the community!!
I'm Antonio, 51, from Madrid,Spain.
I got the diagnosis last year, at 50.
All the best
Hello Amy23
Welcome to the Community and thank you for posting for the first time. It's understandable that you may be feeling overwhelmed. I am sorry to hear that your felt dismissed by your friend, but I hope you feel well supported here following your Autism diagnosis and are able to share experiences with other Community members.
I can see that other members have kindly shared our resources from the NAS on managing post diagnosis, but I thought I would re-share it here as well:
How will I feel after receiving an autism diagnosis
Formal support following an autism diagnosis
All the best,
Chloe Mod
I really relate. I was diagnosed six weeks ago and felt very similar - so overwhelmed and in shocked as well as relief. I’ve also had very similar responses from people which has made digesting it all feel very lonely. Here to find some community and like minded people who get it!
Hello Cinnabar_wing,
Thank you for replying, yes must say my experience with my friend has put me off telling people.
Going to just get used to it for a while.
Hello AlienOn3arth,
Thank you for your reply, feeling supported already just by people replying & being supportive. And yes, it hasn't been a surprise to be told I'm autistic, it's starting to make a lot if things make sense.
Hello Lonehare12,
Thank you for replying and yes I think she just doesn't have a good understanding as she's usually very supportive & caring.
HiAmy23 and welcome and congratulations 
I get that’s not the kind of response you want from a close friend but I think it’s just that they possibly don’t have a good understanding about what it means to be autistic. It doesn’t stop it hurting though.
I hope you settle into here it’s a good place to get lots of answers to questions you might have.
Hi Amy23! Welcome to the community! Unfortunately this is the answer, that many here get: "everyone is a little bit autistic" etc. I hope you find here support and like minded people. Congratulations on getting the confirmation of your experience.
Hey Amy23, just wanted to say hi! I hope you can enjoy being on here and chatting with people in a similar situation! Lots of us still figuring it all out too!
I've mainly avoided telling people as I'm not keen on having bad reactions either. At least it's safe to discuss it here without being told you aren't!
Hello, thank you for replying.
I'm glad I joined this community as already don't feel so alone & finding it reassuring.
I've been reading one of the books that Bunny suggested, which has been helpful.
Glad you're feeling reassured being in here too.
These are the things that got me most:
It is a wrench to your identity. You aren't who you thought you were. It takes a while to go over it all. You'll end up almost back where you started though. You are still you, but it takes time to assure yourself of that.
It is also hard to know that no matter how hard you tried, you were never going to be quite the same as everyone else. It feels like it was all wasted effort, but it wasn't. However, it takes time to become comfortable with it all.
If you embrace it you'll want to know in what ways am I affected and different. So you read everything you can and think about all the things you do. I analysed everything over months looking for patterns. There is less then you think, as there a few underlying root cause things that cause a number of symptoms. You'll then realise you aren't so different as you think, although there are a few challenges and adaptations needed. But you can do them from a position of knowledge, not confusion.
With the new info you replay many past events. Lits of "what if's", or "if only" type things appear. There may be loss and regret, and grief. This has been very hard for me. It may take a year or more. But you will likely be too harsh on yourself and too black and white.
I encourage you to look up cognitive distortions if you don't already know them. We are more prone to them. They also happen a lot when stressed. Being aware of them may help you. Also knowing your thinking changes when stressed is useful to know.
Try to find ways to be calm and make time for yourself. Try to reduce pressure. Find something nice each day, such as sitting in the garden for 30 mins, or feed the ducks, or a walk. Don't feel guilty about relaxing or doing nothing. It all helps. Try to sleep enough, although it can be very hard. Sleep is the biggest thing for feeling better.
Hello.
It is a strange mix of feelings, thoughts and emotions. It makes you wonder how you managed so long and why you didn't guess earlier.
Be aware of the imposter feelings and the disappointment when others don't really understand, and wondering if they made a mistake. It's all normal.
Now you know you'll likely allow yourself to notice all the little things you were hiding and see what things use up effort.
Just be kind to yourself and don't expect too much. It takes time to assimilate and process it.
Hi Amy - congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!
Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation - I've linked to an article below about this.
As for many others, my own late diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting, rather than a conclusion with instant solutions. I suggest taking extra care to be patient to, and kind with, yourself - and to take your time with processing everything.
It's great that you have support from your brother and friend, but also disappointing to hear such ill-informed comments from your closest friend. One of the other articles mentioned below (Talking about and disclosing...) might also be of help, and includes insights from other autistic people.
The NAS also has several other articles focused on "after diagnosis", including those I've mentioned already. You might find them helpful as a starting point:
NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people
NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:
Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS.
Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy
Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:
Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!
How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)
