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Wanting advice about autism

Georgie20

Hi? I'm new on hete. I am wanting helo and guidance about ky autistic husband.  He gets upset and angry when he doesn't understand what im saying and when the autistic professional said he needs certain autistic headphones, I went onto argos and looked for noise cancelling headphones and ge just shut it down straight away.  Was i wrong to do that? . He also gets mad when he says i dont understsndbhow he is, but ive said to him that does he understand why im upset. Was i wrong to say that, as im struggling with him and ive cried in front of him and be vets mad when I grt upset about my feelings and get mad.  

Parents

  • sorry - do "autistic" headphone cure anything ? so they exist and are they going help with communication - possibly the opposite

    I guess the autistic professional may be NT (Neurotypical) so no lived experience , to say pop these on and all will be good

    Sorry you haven't done anything wrong - other than perhaps be given some bad advice.

    google  "the double empathy problem"  - it may explain why NTs and ND's (Neurodivergent) communicate better between one another than between ND-NT

Reply

  • sorry - do "autistic" headphone cure anything ? so they exist and are they going help with communication - possibly the opposite

    I guess the autistic professional may be NT (Neurotypical) so no lived experience , to say pop these on and all will be good

    Sorry you haven't done anything wrong - other than perhaps be given some bad advice.

    google  "the double empathy problem"  - it may explain why NTs and ND's (Neurodivergent) communicate better between one another than between ND-NT

Children
  • in reply to Jalapeno

    No, "autistic" headphones (really just noise-cancelling or attenuating ones) don't cure anything—they're not a treatment for autism. Autism isn't something to "cure"; it's how someone's brain wires up. These are tools for managing sensory stuff, like overload from noise, which hits a lot of autistic folks hard (up to 70% get hypersensitive to sounds).

    They can help: studies show they lower stress signs—like calmer skin responses or less anxiety in loud places—letting people focus better at work, school, or home. Some autistic adults swear by them for public transport or meetings; they block chaos so you can think straight.

    But communication? Often the opposite—they can hinder it. Full noise-cancelling blocks voices too, so if you're talking to your husband while he's wearing them, he might miss your tone, words, or even that you're speaking. It's great for solo quiet time, but in a convo? Could make him feel cut off or frustrated. Some folks use "aware" modes or earplugs instead—partial block, still hear key sounds.

    The pro might be NT (neurotypical)—no lived experience—so yeah, "pop these on" sounds easy, but ignores how it feels personal, like you're saying "you're broken." Bad advice if not tailored.

    And that double empathy problem? Spot on—it's Damian Milton's idea from 2012: misunderstandings aren't just autistic "deficits." NTs and NDs (neurodivergent) both struggle to "get" each other—different styles, cues, pacing. NDs click better together because shared wiring; NT-ND? Mutual blind spots, like you not reading his overload, him not seeing your hurt. It's not one-sided blame—both sides bridge it.