new here

Hi there. My name is Eugene. I’m new here too. Really looking to meet people and make connections :) 

Hi, welcome to the community!

I relate a lot to your story. It's sad, many people and also doctors don't believe us, women. And my parents also refused to help me, even when I had my worst crisis. It's till this very day. When my mom describes my traits, she can list all typical autistic traits and then just summarise it saying "I'm just me". She doesn't accept this label for me, she is the only person who could be my informant but she refuses to help me. Like always. So I'm here, with suspected autism and most probably I'm stuck with it forever. 

It's very common,  that if boys have neurological or mental health disorder,  it's being picked up faster, us women- we are being told we are just overreacting,  just hysterical,  just weird, just have to put some effort and conform. 

In my case my therapist believes me, he also wants to refer me for diagnosis,  but all clinics are fully booked in the area. So I don't know if or when would I actually get to be tested.

Anyway here the official diagnosis is not required and there are also self identified autistic people,  including me.

Hi Becky, you are very welcome here. I am another later-spotted AuDHDer so understand the push-pull and contradictions of having both. Responding to your own needs with routines and strategies is really important - great work! I like reading and cooking too.

Hi Littlepixiewings and welcome 

It sounds like you have a plan in place moving forward and the fact that it’s working is great.

Hope you stick around and chat with us.

Hi Becky, That's rough. As I see it they don't have a choice. It's not up to them to believe it or not.

Knowing how bad the GP surgeries can be my partner helped me pick from the Right to Choose options. We had had all the referral paper work printed out and went to the appointment handed everything over "I want to be referred here". All they had to do was sign the cover letter. The GP in question wanted to write their own cover letter, something that took the surgery as a whole just shy of two months. (Best we could piece together the letter was dictated that week and took 6/7 more weeks to type and send). 

Perhaps scoping out your Right to Choose options and telling them the exact provider you want to be assessed by might help. 

I'm 48 myself, Discovery of Neurodiversity 2 years ago. Assessed and medicated for ADHD for a little over a year and oh boy did my autism make itself known. I've been procrastinating on getting my autism assessment because of the initial problems with the GP and there was such a rigmarole over the shared care refusal phase, I just don't want to go near them. Every week I tell myself it's time to get it sorted, but for me any resistance is off putting.

cooking arts and craft and sewing

im reading love and lairds at highland hall by hannah lynn 

I'm currently reading 'The Wife Upstairs' by Frieda McFadden! 

i love reading , drawing and painting and card making 

i love reading , sewing on my machine ,cooking and  card making  and painting and drawing

Unfortunately GP's don't always appear to want to divert their budget to ASD assessments and sometimes would direct you to the MH Welbwing team, consider anxiety or depression.  You can go in prepared with lists of examples and traits and its generally hard just to attend the GP in the first place.  Welcome, hooefully you find some friends and also gain support, knowledge and acceptance.

Hi Becky.

I'm really glad you're here - honestly. Forty-eight years of knowing something's up, and no one's listened? That's exhausting. And yeah, you're not alone. Loads of women - especially our age - get brushed off by doctors. They say "you don't look autistic," or "you're too articulate," or just... nothing at all. Like we're supposed to perform it for them.

Five doctors? That's not giving up - that's surviving. And putting your own routine together? That's brilliant. You're already doing what most people never manage: listening to yourself.

Hi and welcome to the community.

I realised that I was probably autistic when I was in my mid fifties. I did online tests which gave results indicating autism and showed them to the doctor I was seeing at the time. He agreed, but advised against getting a formal diagnosis as it would just be a label, I wouldn't get any support. So I've been self discovered/self identified for almost 9 years now.

I decided not to push for a diagnosis because I thought an assessor wouldn't see me as "autistic enough" to be given the label. I have seen people post on here that when they went for an assessment they were judged not to be autistic when they are certain that they are, and that situation can be very difficult so I decided not to put myself through the stress.

Whether you get a formal diagnosis or not, you are welcome here.

Hello

Welcome to the community forum

Joined this forum after a few tricky experiences with postal pen friends. 

Was looking for, female friend with similar interests like reading, photography, art, crafts, jigsaw puzzles, and puzzle books. Prefer digital letters (email, social media, or forum).

sorry that the doctors aren't listening to you

Littlepixiewings said:

my own routine in place and finding it is working for me 

That's good that you've found a routine that works for you! I have a bedtime routine I stick to - working out on day to day ones, as I'm in the middle of finding groups /activities to do

what interests do you have? I love reading, doing jigsaws, diamond painting, animals (have a family dog), wordsearches, card making, playing with fidgets, cuddly toys, watching YouTube and listening to music.

I hope you find this community forum useful - I have even if it's just talking to people about random topics, or getting suggestions to help

Littlepixiewings said:

starting to put my own routine in place and finding it is working for me

Hello Becky.

That news sounds like an important step forward (routine) in support of your self-regulation.

What sort of things tend to interest you (I ask as on the forum we have quite a wide range of popular threads - some longer running, others more transient by the nature of their topic).