Diagnosed 2 weeks ago at 37

Hi SilmarilCritter and welcome. Diagnosis is a big thing so be gentle with yourself and let your body and mind work through it. This community is full of lived experience, insight and wisdom which can help you. Here's my post-diagnosis story.

I was diagnosed as being autistic and ADHD last summer. It took until I was 59 because I am a very high masker too. I hadn't realised what a toll this masking took on me, and just thought I was a bit rubbish for getting ill every few years.

My experience was relief and validation along with grief about my earlier life. I have, like you, had a flat feeling with some skill regression (executive function, working memory).

Diagnosis explains the 'why' of our strengths and challenges, but it doesn't give us a route to follow from there. That is for us to explore and maybe that flatness and sense of being lost prompts us metaphorically to have a sit on a bench, think about where we've been, look at the map and the landscape, and then step forwards towards something of interest.

Struggling to identify emotions is quite a common thing for us autistic folk, and you may find it interesting to read about alexithymia if you haven't already.

I have also experienced a period of deep burnout since the autumn, triggered by bereavements, health issues, domestic strife and work challenges. At its worst, I wasn’t functioning at all really as a dam had broken and everything felt threatening and overwhelming. That eased slowly over time, thankfully.

My own rebuild has required me to do the work of recoding a lot of past events, letting go of expectations (and people pleasing), working through my post-diagnostic identity challenges (who am I behind the mask?) and simplifying my life. This community has helped me feel more connected (thanks, everyone).

I am making progress and I know there is more for me to do. I know already my life will be slower and quieter than before, with space for me to explore my interests and with a focus on my own needs. It will be a sort of homecoming, I think.

Hi SilmarilCritter and welcome. Diagnosis is a big thing so be gentle with yourself and let your body and mind work through it. This community is full of lived experience, insight and wisdom which can help you. Here's my post-diagnosis story.

I was diagnosed as being autistic and ADHD last summer. It took until I was 59 because I am a very high masker too. I hadn't realised what a toll this masking took on me, and just thought I was a bit rubbish for getting ill every few years.

My experience was relief and validation along with grief about my earlier life. I have, like you, had a flat feeling with some skill regression (executive function, working memory).

Diagnosis explains the 'why' of our strengths and challenges, but it doesn't give us a route to follow from there. That is for us to explore and maybe that flatness and sense of being lost prompts us metaphorically to have a sit on a bench, think about where we've been, look at the map and the landscape, and then step forwards towards something of interest.

Struggling to identify emotions is quite a common thing for us autistic folk, and you may find it interesting to read about alexithymia if you haven't already.

I have also experienced a period of deep burnout since the autumn, triggered by bereavements, health issues, domestic strife and work challenges. At its worst, I wasn’t functioning at all really as a dam had broken and everything felt threatening and overwhelming. That eased slowly over time, thankfully.

My own rebuild has required me to do the work of recoding a lot of past events, letting go of expectations (and people pleasing), working through my post-diagnostic identity challenges (who am I behind the mask?) and simplifying my life. This community has helped me feel more connected (thanks, everyone).

I am making progress and I know there is more for me to do. I know already my life will be slower and quieter than before, with space for me to explore my interests and with a focus on my own needs. It will be a sort of homecoming, I think.