Hello I’m Claudia.
Im 32 and had my assessment yesterday with psychiatry UK and was diagnosed.
I’m not entirely sure what I’m feeling at the moment, I’m struggling to talk about it with friends and family. I don’t know anyone that is autistic or has gone through this so if anyone has any advice I would be grateful.
Thank you
Yes mine was 50-55 mins and when the Dr told me at the end, I was kind of speechless. I think it needs to sink in still. He told me not to think of it as a label but use my strengths in research to understand myself better. I’m currently reading a book I got from the library called ‘Rediscovered: a compassionate and courageous guide for late discovered autistic women and their allies’ and it’s been really helpful so far. 
Hi Claudia, I started out happy to have answers, and also grieving for the past me that didn't know. Since then, I have processed and re-filed a lot of past incidents which were traumatic or painful. Remembering those was tough, but important. Instead of feeling ashamed or otherwise bad about them, I now understand that they were not my fault. I have been able to feel compassion for myself and also for people who hurt me. So the feeling I am left with is one of clearer identity and self-appreciation, plus curiosity about where my new understanding may lead...
Thank you for this. I have told people close to me now. I think they aren’t sure how to react to it but I’m not either so that’s okay for now. I more just don’t want to have to teach people about it at the moment as I’m learning so much myself. These replies have been helpful for that though!
Thank you, this is great advice. I have told some people now and I definitely want to think through what will help me going forward. Think I can finally explain properly that I do not want to be hugged haha.
Thank you so much. Yes a lot of different emotions going on and can’t quite figure out if I’m happy or sad, I think it’s both. Have you found you feel good about it now there’s been some time passed?
Oh wow so similar! How did you find your assessment? Mine was only 50 minutes long and they seemed to be very sure. I think it’s just a lot of mixed feelings isn’t it? Like good and bad!
Hi Claudia, I’m also 32 and was diagnosed on Friday last week by Psychiatry UK. I am feeling the same and it feels a bit of a shock in a way even though I knew it myself all along. You aren’t alone in this feeling so hopefully that helps!
Hi Claudias and welcome to the autistic community. I was diagnosed only a few months ago, aged 59, and I found it disorienting at first. Lots of emotions. Take it slow from here and give yourself the opportunity to process it all. It's your news, and big stuff, and you don't have to tell everyone. You may get a mix of reactions from people you do tell. You may find some autistic traits becoming a bit more prominent - this is all OK.
Most of all, remember you are different, not broken. Be kind to yourself. Every autistic person is an individual and you may find that seeking out neurodivergent social or support groups helps you feel connected. This online community is a great place to start and it is good to have you with us.
I’m struggling to talk about it with friends and family.
Welcome.
Do take your time, there is no need to rush to share the news (you are not obliged to tell anyone among friends and family). Certainly not until it is something you find you personally want to do.
When you are ready; you can tell those you choose, your preferred way, on your own terms.
You might find that when you want to update people about your diagnosis - it could provide an opportunity for you to present it in the context of explaining to them supportive boundaries - which would better support your own personal presentation and experience of Autism (not what people might think they know about Autism from books and films - rather, your own personal version of being an Autistic person).
E.g. how people can help respect your personal space, how you would find it helpful for people to behave around you if you are experiencing an overwhelm / shutdown situation.
It can take a while, post-diagnosis, to work out such things which might work best for you as a person (hence, take your time, at your own comfort pace). It is not a competition / test (there is no "right" or "wrong" way - it is more about what seems to be helpful in your life).
Good morning from America, Claudia!
Congratulations on your diagnosis! Take your time telling your friends and family, especially if they are unfamiliar with Autism. You don’t have to tell them right away; Tell them when you’re ready to. I think I took a few months before I told my parents, for example.
I can understand wanting to tell people, because it is something really important to you, though.
Claudias,
Me too.. Also with Psych UK. Also feeling odd… The real journey starts today.
Hello.
What you are feeling is the identity shock. It is normal. It will take time to adjust.
Ultimately, it is a personal journey while you become comfortable in your own skin again and confident about who you are and what you think.
You have to reframe your past and know who you are. It is a weird sensation.
Hi, welcome to the community and I hope you find here support and like minded people.
Hi Claudia - congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!
Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation, so please don't worry if you continue to experience this - it's normal! Besides perhaps feeling some relief about now having an explanation for our past difficulties, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion, uncertainty, so-called "imposter syndrome", and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving, and more.
As for many others, my diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting, rather than a conclusion with instant solutions.
The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:
NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistics
NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:
Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS.
Whilst waiting for your report, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy
Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:
Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!
How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)
Hi Claudia. I never know if congratulations is the right thing to say or not, if it is congrats. I was diagnosed in Jan and I told my family and a lot of them don't speak about it with me at all. I can only suppose its because they don't want to say something wrong? Id still rather they said something than nothing. I think I have to allow for them to get used to the change as well as me. When you feel like you've been someone else for in my case 40yrs its a lot to unlearn just to be yourself. My parents did a part ADI-R part of my assessment so I had no choice but to tell them?! Every family is different. I hope you can use this forum as its really helped me over the past few weeks. I hope as and when you decide to speak to them it goes as well as it can. Joey (Mads is my cat)
