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The fear of the unknown

0905

My son is 19months, shows all the signs and characteristics of autism, health professionals agree but cant give diagnosis until sees paediatrician. I already know he has it im just waiting for the diagnosis and my heart is broken. I cant help but blame myself and worry about his future! The not knowing what level or impact it will have on his future and my other child. Is this normal? I find myself crying so frequently right now, am I being silly/selfish? Its all very new to me and my husband, no one in either of our families are neurodivergent or autistic. Please be kind with your comments....

Parents

  • It seems very early to be so sure. I think you are equating it with learning difficulties and other problems. This doesn't have to be the case.

    Plenty of people grow up, go to university and do well.

    I know one who is a professor and works with oil companies. I have earned significantly above the average wage for most of the last 30 years and have dove lots of bucket list things. 

    While there may be sensory differences, or emotional challenges, it is not all bad. Arguably some sensory differences are better, as is the depth of feeling and empathy. But they are double edged swords. They might be a great painter, artist, writer, mathematician, biologist, etc. or just a regular happy person not fussed about material things.

    Support needs may vary, but the developmental path seems hard to know for sure already.

    I think you assuming the worst. You could just as easily assume the best.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    I agree with Stuart, babies develop at different rates and if your childs doctors are happy with his progress then I'd be inclined to let it go for a few months. 

    What makes you so certain your child is autistic?

    Whether you child is autistic or not, it sounds like you need some support, parenthood is a big load of worry surrounded by joy at the best of times. It's OK for you to admit you need more support and help, you're not here to be perfect, nobodies the perfect parent, so talk to someone about your worries for the future, not about the what ifs of what may or may not affect your son.

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  • in reply to Stuart333

    I agree with Stuart, babies develop at different rates and if your childs doctors are happy with his progress then I'd be inclined to let it go for a few months. 

    What makes you so certain your child is autistic?

    Whether you child is autistic or not, it sounds like you need some support, parenthood is a big load of worry surrounded by joy at the best of times. It's OK for you to admit you need more support and help, you're not here to be perfect, nobodies the perfect parent, so talk to someone about your worries for the future, not about the what ifs of what may or may not affect your son.

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