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Neurodivergent and Never had friends

AutisticAF

I’m 18 years old and male in university. I am intelligent. I have autism and diagnosed ADHD. I have never had a friend in my life (not exaggerating one bit) and am currently completely alone. I see other kids living normal lives around me and I wish I could join in and be happy like them. I can’t talk to people without the usage of amphetamines, benzos, beta blockers, and Pregabalin. Despite my best efforts, I am still alone. I don’t know why people don’t like me, I always try to talk about normal things but still people detect that I am aspy. I have went to social events but always felt left out, invisible. People in my cohort often don’t even want to look at me. I spend my weekends completely alone and go days without talking to people. I am often suicidal. Anyone in a similar situation to me or has any advice?

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  • AutisticAF said:
    I can’t talk to people without the usage of amphetamines, benzos, beta blockers, and Pregabalin

    To learn to overcome this issue you probably need professional help. I would suggest contacting the uni psychology department and see if they offer any therapy for students - often they offer sessions for their trainee psychologists where an experienced therapist sits in with the trainee and helps if there are any questions or issues.

    You should be able to get some good techniques to work on to start to overcome the shyness and be able to speak to people this way.

    AutisticAF said:
    I don’t know why people don’t like me, I always try to talk about normal things but still people detect that I am aspy.

    There are lots of rules about how to interact socially that many autists never pick up so it helps to learn these and treat social interactions as an experiement until you get the hand of it. I would recommend the following book in conjunction to therapy:

    Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism - Grandin, Temple, Barron, Sean (2017)

    It may seem too much to take in to start with so start with observing and gentle interactions (eg shopping) and build up with interactions with others on your course. Therapy will guide you through a lot of this too.

    Expecting others to accept you or even understand you is too much to expect in my experience - we have to do all the work which sucks, but if you want to be a part of it you need to know the rules and be able to mask your way as much as you are comfortable with.

    All just in my opinion of course.

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  • AutisticAF said:
    I can’t talk to people without the usage of amphetamines, benzos, beta blockers, and Pregabalin

    To learn to overcome this issue you probably need professional help. I would suggest contacting the uni psychology department and see if they offer any therapy for students - often they offer sessions for their trainee psychologists where an experienced therapist sits in with the trainee and helps if there are any questions or issues.

    You should be able to get some good techniques to work on to start to overcome the shyness and be able to speak to people this way.

    AutisticAF said:
    I don’t know why people don’t like me, I always try to talk about normal things but still people detect that I am aspy.

    There are lots of rules about how to interact socially that many autists never pick up so it helps to learn these and treat social interactions as an experiement until you get the hand of it. I would recommend the following book in conjunction to therapy:

    Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism - Grandin, Temple, Barron, Sean (2017)

    It may seem too much to take in to start with so start with observing and gentle interactions (eg shopping) and build up with interactions with others on your course. Therapy will guide you through a lot of this too.

    Expecting others to accept you or even understand you is too much to expect in my experience - we have to do all the work which sucks, but if you want to be a part of it you need to know the rules and be able to mask your way as much as you are comfortable with.

    All just in my opinion of course.

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