• Replies 13 replies
  • Subscribers 74 subscribers
  • Views 277 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Whole life flashing before my eyes since diagnosis!

Emerald

I am experiencing a constant stream of memories from my whole life, several decades of it. So much misunderstanding, judgement and rejection, and now i know why i have always been 'weird' for other people. Any big stress and i would talk about myself too much. I have felt so much shame for doing this.  Contrasted with my 'normal' persona which was ultra polite, kind, helpful and 'such a good listener' and, i now see, not 'me' at all but an adaptation to try to belong, i guess others were confused and put off by me. 

Does anyone relate to this?

Parents

  • Yes me too  

    I am regularly revisited by unbidden memories that appear to be demanding my attention to be in some way resolved.  Many of them linked to misunderstandings and difficulty assimilating and integrating.

    There is a line from a Terry Pratchett book that springs to mind where a departing person asks the persona of death whether they can expect all their life to pass before them at that point.  Death humorously replies "no that is what occurs in life before you die" or some such thing.

    I find it upsetting that so much of the present is missed or perhaps in some way "spoiled" by the need to review past events personally and this took place especially for me when reframing my view of life post diagnosis.

    I can share with you that the extent of this experience has lessened for me post diagnosis and I now  few years after find it less debilitating and psychologically painful.

    And maybe this is how things go.

    Best Wishes

Reply

  • Yes me too  

    I am regularly revisited by unbidden memories that appear to be demanding my attention to be in some way resolved.  Many of them linked to misunderstandings and difficulty assimilating and integrating.

    There is a line from a Terry Pratchett book that springs to mind where a departing person asks the persona of death whether they can expect all their life to pass before them at that point.  Death humorously replies "no that is what occurs in life before you die" or some such thing.

    I find it upsetting that so much of the present is missed or perhaps in some way "spoiled" by the need to review past events personally and this took place especially for me when reframing my view of life post diagnosis.

    I can share with you that the extent of this experience has lessened for me post diagnosis and I now  few years after find it less debilitating and psychologically painful.

    And maybe this is how things go.

    Best Wishes

Children