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Whole life flashing before my eyes since diagnosis!

Emerald

I am experiencing a constant stream of memories from my whole life, several decades of it. So much misunderstanding, judgement and rejection, and now i know why i have always been 'weird' for other people. Any big stress and i would talk about myself too much. I have felt so much shame for doing this.  Contrasted with my 'normal' persona which was ultra polite, kind, helpful and 'such a good listener' and, i now see, not 'me' at all but an adaptation to try to belong, i guess others were confused and put off by me. 

Does anyone relate to this?

Parents

  • Your adaptations are a part of you. Just like being able to speak a second language or play a musical instrument. You are a product of your autism and your lived experience. If your 'normal persona' has been useful to you, and other people, is it worth jettisoning it completely?

    You can chose to view past failings as being those of an autistic person in an environment that is inimical to you, and forgive yourself and others.

Reply

  • Your adaptations are a part of you. Just like being able to speak a second language or play a musical instrument. You are a product of your autism and your lived experience. If your 'normal persona' has been useful to you, and other people, is it worth jettisoning it completely?

    You can chose to view past failings as being those of an autistic person in an environment that is inimical to you, and forgive yourself and others.

Children
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