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Hi my name is Sam

sammyb1974

Hi, My name is Sam and I think I may have aspergers after my husband mentioned an article he read which prompted me to spend the last 3 days researching aspergers and women with aspergers. I have taken numerous online tests which all show that I have possible aspergers. Are these online tests accurate? I have also read some testimonials of women and there was one which I read today which I totally related to and made me cry as I could identify with everything which she described. However I am second guessing whether I have the condition or not as I can communicate quite effectively and I have always enjoyed meeting new people. I can, though also feel uncomfortable in social situations and can get quite paranoid. I often say the wrong things although I have adapted my behaviour so this doen't happen so often in public ( it happens more at home). I am also very disorganised and get very stressed when I can't find things, often blaming others for this when I know it is my fault. I am sensitive to people and often withdraw myself from situations which I can't handle. I have often used alcohol as a tool to become socially accepted. I have read that women with aspergers can become chameleon like, adapting themselves in social situations. I feel that this describes me and I have often battled with myself for this as I often feel that I am not being me, but then when I am me I worry that people won't like me. I have real trouble with my family as my only brother has throughout his life had problems and although doesn't have a confirmed diagnosis my mum believes that he has aspergers and adhd. I don't want them thinking that I am saying this because I want the attention but I also want them to accept me for me and understand where I am coming from. I am sorry if this doesn't make sense but my head is all over that place at the moment and I don't know what to do?

Parents

  • I don't think you actually need to have your mum present for a formal assessment, but it could be helpful, depending on the diagnostic or assessment method used.  But if you're just going to see a GP next week, I would imagine it would be quite normal for your mum not to go along with you for that.

    When I was assessed, it wasn't actually necessary for any such relatives to be interviewed, but it was what they normally do, and it was helpful.  Before the assessment, they did say, in writing, that some such person would be needed, and that they couldn't see me on my own.  But when I spoke to the clinical psychologist about it on the phone, she told me it wasn't strictly true, and that they could see people on their own, without anyone else involved after all.  But she explained why they normally interviewed a parent or similar person as part of the assessment process.

    I think the main reason is that parents and similar people can tell the consultants about how we were when we were children, especially when we were very young.  That might seem a bit useless now that we're adults, but since autistic traits become apparent from a very early age, and since that's when ASDs are normally diagnosed, I think that's why they like to know about our childhood developments when assessing us as adults.

    I don't think our parents or whoever even need to think we've got ASDs, since the questions aren't about whether or not they think we've got ASDs.  I think they're more factual, such as when did we start talking, did we make friends with other children easily, and so on.

    And, as I said before, it also means the consultant has an external perspective to consider, and not just the internal perspective of the person being assessed.

    And it doesn't strictly need to be a parent.  It can be someone else who knew you well enough when you were growing up to be able to provide relevant information.

    I think such interviews can also be conducted by telephone, which could solve the 300 mile problem.  That was an option when I was assessed.  And I wouldn't be surprised if written information would be acceptable.  Perhaps there are diagnostic/assessment methods that involve written questionnaires for people to fill in?  Anyway, I suppose it depends on how these things are done where you are, and what assessment/diagnostic methods are used.

    Anyway, I hope things go well next week when you see the doctor Smile

Reply

  • I don't think you actually need to have your mum present for a formal assessment, but it could be helpful, depending on the diagnostic or assessment method used.  But if you're just going to see a GP next week, I would imagine it would be quite normal for your mum not to go along with you for that.

    When I was assessed, it wasn't actually necessary for any such relatives to be interviewed, but it was what they normally do, and it was helpful.  Before the assessment, they did say, in writing, that some such person would be needed, and that they couldn't see me on my own.  But when I spoke to the clinical psychologist about it on the phone, she told me it wasn't strictly true, and that they could see people on their own, without anyone else involved after all.  But she explained why they normally interviewed a parent or similar person as part of the assessment process.

    I think the main reason is that parents and similar people can tell the consultants about how we were when we were children, especially when we were very young.  That might seem a bit useless now that we're adults, but since autistic traits become apparent from a very early age, and since that's when ASDs are normally diagnosed, I think that's why they like to know about our childhood developments when assessing us as adults.

    I don't think our parents or whoever even need to think we've got ASDs, since the questions aren't about whether or not they think we've got ASDs.  I think they're more factual, such as when did we start talking, did we make friends with other children easily, and so on.

    And, as I said before, it also means the consultant has an external perspective to consider, and not just the internal perspective of the person being assessed.

    And it doesn't strictly need to be a parent.  It can be someone else who knew you well enough when you were growing up to be able to provide relevant information.

    I think such interviews can also be conducted by telephone, which could solve the 300 mile problem.  That was an option when I was assessed.  And I wouldn't be surprised if written information would be acceptable.  Perhaps there are diagnostic/assessment methods that involve written questionnaires for people to fill in?  Anyway, I suppose it depends on how these things are done where you are, and what assessment/diagnostic methods are used.

    Anyway, I hope things go well next week when you see the doctor Smile

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