• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 72 subscribers
  • Views 75 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Woman undiagnosed

Orange

Hi, I decided to come on here because I have nobody who relates to my experiences. I find I am “too much” for the people around me. 

I am undiagnosed waiting for assessment but I’m pretty sure I have both adhd and autism. I also have had some traumatic experiences in my opinion due to being undiagnosed. 

A few years ago I was in a terrible relationship with an older man, I was very young at this time. It was abusive emotionally, physically and sexually. He then went on to do the same to two more women and was in the end put into prison after we all spoke to the police. I feel my autism made me vulnerable and slower to understand relationships and how they work. This is a problem I still struggle with years later, I don’t understand people, I don’t understand when someone has crossed a line. I try to guess but I end up cutting people off and then feeling guilty that I lose people who do care. I’ve had and lost so many friends and still in the end I feel alone.

I have a partner right now who I feel is a good guy but I don’t think he can cope with me, I am too much for him. I want to start our life together I want children, I want a happy life.. I just don’t know how I will ever be able to cope with that. I just wish I didn’t have these problems, or I wish I was supported as a child to understand myself and the world around me. 

Does it get easier as you get older? Am I going to feel this way forever? 

Parents
  • Orange said:
    I have a partner right now who I feel is a good guy but I don’t think he can cope with me, I am too much for him

    I'm married and quite often have same worries and I get anxious that my husband would leave me. Before we got our daughter,  I asked him if he thinks that im normal. He said that im absolutely fine and a smart woman,  but at that time I had enough solitude and space fir my weirdness to keep it hidden from him. But when the child showed up, I couldn't manage to keep the real me only for myself. Then he saw me pacing kitchen for hours alone in the dark, or during the day too, now he sees me how I can't manage interactions with more than one person and how sensitive I am for the noise the child makes. Even before he used to ask from time to time, why I'm so quiet, while I was just listening to him,  but now I can say I'm "x^2" of what I was at that time. First he asked me whats wrong with me,  but now he reassures me that he loves me for who I am. So I hope that your partner also loves the real you as you are. Other issues that we have (it's minor I can say) it's me cooking same things again and again and he told me he can't eat it anymore. Not that I cook bad, but it's too much of same dishes.  So he cooks himself. The worst thing for me is doing something original and spontaneous. I told him that and we somehow find ways to cope.

Reply
  • Orange said:
    I have a partner right now who I feel is a good guy but I don’t think he can cope with me, I am too much for him

    I'm married and quite often have same worries and I get anxious that my husband would leave me. Before we got our daughter,  I asked him if he thinks that im normal. He said that im absolutely fine and a smart woman,  but at that time I had enough solitude and space fir my weirdness to keep it hidden from him. But when the child showed up, I couldn't manage to keep the real me only for myself. Then he saw me pacing kitchen for hours alone in the dark, or during the day too, now he sees me how I can't manage interactions with more than one person and how sensitive I am for the noise the child makes. Even before he used to ask from time to time, why I'm so quiet, while I was just listening to him,  but now I can say I'm "x^2" of what I was at that time. First he asked me whats wrong with me,  but now he reassures me that he loves me for who I am. So I hope that your partner also loves the real you as you are. Other issues that we have (it's minor I can say) it's me cooking same things again and again and he told me he can't eat it anymore. Not that I cook bad, but it's too much of same dishes.  So he cooks himself. The worst thing for me is doing something original and spontaneous. I told him that and we somehow find ways to cope.

Children
No Data