Hi, I decided to come on here because I have nobody who relates to my experiences. I find I am “too much” for the people around me.
I am undiagnosed waiting for assessment but I’m pretty sure I have both adhd and autism. I also have had some traumatic experiences in my opinion due to being undiagnosed.
A few years ago I was in a terrible relationship with an older man, I was very young at this time. It was abusive emotionally, physically and sexually. He then went on to do the same to two more women and was in the end put into prison after we all spoke to the police. I feel my autism made me vulnerable and slower to understand relationships and how they work. This is a problem I still struggle with years later, I don’t understand people, I don’t understand when someone has crossed a line. I try to guess but I end up cutting people off and then feeling guilty that I lose people who do care. I’ve had and lost so many friends and still in the end I feel alone.
I have a partner right now who I feel is a good guy but I don’t think he can cope with me, I am too much for him. I want to start our life together I want children, I want a happy life.. I just don’t know how I will ever be able to cope with that. I just wish I didn’t have these problems, or I wish I was supported as a child to understand myself and the world around me.
Does it get easier as you get older? Am I going to feel this way forever?
