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Hello

spry

Hi. 
late diagnosed AuDhd adult. 
OCD / Anxiety / SAD / depression alongside. 

Kind of being cornered into getting a job which is causing a lot of overload and anxiety. 
I last worked before my oldest child was born and that was 15 years ago.. since then I’ve had a lot of diagnosis’s and was assessed as being limited capability for work.  I’ve never held a job longer than around 8-9 months due to getting easily bored of the sameness and overwhelmed with the commitment of it, as well as the sensory issues it causes and the fact that holding conversations are incredibly difficult and stressful for me.

i don’t know how to deal with it all if im honest. I try to explain how much I struggle and it feels like no one believes me. I very regularly struggle to leave the house because of anxiety and autistic burnout, being around people exhausts me to the point where I will then sleep the entire following day away because of overwhelm. I suffer incredibly bad with PMDD/PMS which leaves me bed bound whenever my period comes around so my brain is a bit frazzled in working out how I’m supposed to ignore all of the many things that stop me functioning to then go to work.. as well as being the main carer to my neurodivergent children and run the household that already leaves me emotionally and physically overstimulated.

i know i sound like such a moaning cow and there’s plenty of people who are Atypical and struggle but still do “life” but I just can’t do it. I feel like an alien and everyone around me is just getting on with things and I’m sat not even able to recognise when I’m hungry, cant make a phone call for myself and can’t just “go to the shop” if I fancy it because I can’t bring myself to leave the house. 


I feel like a total failure because I’m being asked what my hobbies are, what my best self is, what job have I always wanted and truthfully I don’t have an answer for any of the questions. There’s nothing in life that I think “oh gosh this is my favourite thing to do ever”, I never knew what job I wanted because I spent my teenage years copying everyone to fit in.. and when I left school and went to college I just again did what people I knew did to try and be “normal” - I dropped out of one course after a month because people just took a dislike to me.. I applied at a different college to study law and again just couldn’t make friends so spent all my time isolated.. I ended up in an abusive relationship which he then forced me to quit the course after 6 months, I then spent 16 months essentially housebound with him not being allowed to do anything or see anyone. 
I’ve had 3 jobs in my whole life. All in retail and they’ve all left me wanting to shrivel away. I cannot do “people” I can’t do crowds or noise, or being asked questions or getting given demands..Weary’m not averse to going back to work but honestly, what can I even do?! 
I hate that I don’t ask to be here, be the way I am… and yet I’m expected to just do it all. 

Parents

  • Hi all, sorry for my lack of response - as with everything my post went to the back of my mind and I forgot about it. 
    does anyone have suggestions for work from home jobs? I just feel so lost and don’t even know where to begin.

    My employment adviser has began writing a CV for me but I’m concerned because she has included my college courses despite the fact I only stayed for maybe a month for the one and less than 6 months for the other… what if I get an interview and they ask about it and then I look stupid for putting it in my CV when I didn’t even finish the course? And the idea of an interview regardless is making me panic. At the moment I’m classed as limited capability so they’re only “preparing me” to go back to work but because of all my neurodiversity’s and anxiety/OCD I’m in a panicked wait mode for the day that comes for me to actually apply for jobs. 

    im also worried as i am higher rate PIP because of all the things i cant do and how much help I need because i cant really function without prompts and reminders.. and so i dont know what job i can even do considering i cant even choose what to wear on my own let alone learn a whole new job. 

Reply

  • Hi all, sorry for my lack of response - as with everything my post went to the back of my mind and I forgot about it. 
    does anyone have suggestions for work from home jobs? I just feel so lost and don’t even know where to begin.

    My employment adviser has began writing a CV for me but I’m concerned because she has included my college courses despite the fact I only stayed for maybe a month for the one and less than 6 months for the other… what if I get an interview and they ask about it and then I look stupid for putting it in my CV when I didn’t even finish the course? And the idea of an interview regardless is making me panic. At the moment I’m classed as limited capability so they’re only “preparing me” to go back to work but because of all my neurodiversity’s and anxiety/OCD I’m in a panicked wait mode for the day that comes for me to actually apply for jobs. 

    im also worried as i am higher rate PIP because of all the things i cant do and how much help I need because i cant really function without prompts and reminders.. and so i dont know what job i can even do considering i cant even choose what to wear on my own let alone learn a whole new job. 

Children
  • in reply to spry

    Don't worry about putting down you attended college. It shows you were good enough. You don't need to have completed it. It still counts as a positive.

    You can say you left one because of relationship issues. You don't have to give details. Life happens, people are unlucky. People know this.

    Be proud of what you have achieved, don't apologise for things.

    Most retail is not going to suit you, unless it is back office stuff away from customers, such as in finance, logistics, goods in, warehouse, ordering, etc.

    The problem at the moments is a lot of entry level jobs have competition and are in short supply due to budget changes. Hiring is constrained. But what happens on a big statistical level doesn't matter. You only need 1 job.

    There is not much where you start at home without a track record.

    To help with the anxiety, be prepared that you will fire out applications and some will, maybe many, you will not hear back from. So you are fishing. 

    The putting the hooks in the water is the easy bit. If there are no bites you don't need to do anything. 

    If you have lots of a anticipatory anxiety, like me, waiting to hear is hard. If your anxiety is over what happens after you hear, worry about that when it happens. You may be able to get help with interview practice, you can ask. But really you just need to imagine what would you ask if you were interviewing someone and mostly prepare for that.