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Fascinations

Babs1980

Hi, I have a 16 year old son who has fixations on history, mainly Hitler and war. The fascinations have taken over his life. He says he wants to get the thoughts out of his head. He is having counselling at the moment but he masks really well so he won’t disclose any of these thoughts to the councillor. 
He’s life has been taken over by these thoughts. I have tried to say to him that what he is saying is inappropriate. I don’t think I can post on here as I don’t want to cause offence.

im reaching out for any advice on how to get him a new interest as this one is so unhealthy and he is really struggling as are we as a family. Everyday is a debate or struggle and he can’t accept that we have different opinions. 

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community. 

    I'm assuming that your son is autistic? I'm not sure how to deal with this as he's already receiving counselling, although as he's not disclosing to the counsellor, can you tell them and see if they can guide him to open up? 

    There is an article in the advice and guidance section of this website that may be of help:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/about-autism/focused-and-dedicated-interests

  • in reply to Lotus

    Hi, 

    Thank you for your reply. Yes my son is autistic and ADHD. 
    I have spoken to the councillor and we have also gone down the prevent route but he wasn’t showing any extremism activity online and I limit what he goes on. He also didn’t meet the criteria to be a concern, the police officer said it was neurodiverse and mental health. CAMHS won’t touch him as he doesn’t meet the threshold. I am just really concern and even when I say stop saying the things that he continues. He gets upset and says he can’t get them out of his head. The councillor said to tell him to stop but I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do. 
    Thank you for the link, I will have a look. 

  • in reply to Babs1980

    I’m so sorry - this sounds incredibly difficult. You’re obviously doing all the right things - and you’re asking for help but by the sounds of it not getting enough help. Is the issue of not being able to ‘get things out of his head’ essentially OCD/intrusive thoughts? He definitely needs help with this - it must be so distressing for him. What a shame that he started researching such a distressing subject. Is he himself very keen to get help with this? If he is then I would push hard for more help for him. Do you feel he is on any level a risk to himself or to others? My heart really does go out to you - this must be so distressing and disturbing for both of you. I would think that time away from looking at things about it online would help - if he is willing to have a complete tech break for a period of time. Presumably he is ‘feeding’ his obsession with continually looking at things about it online? Try to keep the lines of communication open between you - if he is talking to you about this it is a positive - even though I can see how upsetting it must be for you. If it’s any comfort I suspect that this situation might not be as uncommon as you might imagine. 

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Hi, thank you for your message. He does want help and he has said that the thoughts are in his head all the time. It’s more ocd and thinking about what has happened in history and why. I feel that he is inquisitive about the history of things and he takes things literally. 
    His social media has been checked by the police through prevent and it all came back clear, hes not joined any groups and doesn’t follow specific people. I check his phone regularly too so I keep a check on things as much as I can. School are aware and they referred to prevent which is safeguarding young people against radicalisation. After I requested it and brought up my concerns.  
    He is doing Nazi Germany for his History GCSE so he has gained a lot of information through school so I think it stems from this. 
    I don’t feel he’s a threat to himself or others. When he says things he gets upset so he is beating himself up for saying it but he often has an outburst at home and then takes a deep breath and apologises and says I had to get it out of my head. 
    it’s such a hard situation. I’ve fought for so many years for support but nothing seems to help. 

Reply
  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Hi, thank you for your message. He does want help and he has said that the thoughts are in his head all the time. It’s more ocd and thinking about what has happened in history and why. I feel that he is inquisitive about the history of things and he takes things literally. 
    His social media has been checked by the police through prevent and it all came back clear, hes not joined any groups and doesn’t follow specific people. I check his phone regularly too so I keep a check on things as much as I can. School are aware and they referred to prevent which is safeguarding young people against radicalisation. After I requested it and brought up my concerns.  
    He is doing Nazi Germany for his History GCSE so he has gained a lot of information through school so I think it stems from this. 
    I don’t feel he’s a threat to himself or others. When he says things he gets upset so he is beating himself up for saying it but he often has an outburst at home and then takes a deep breath and apologises and says I had to get it out of my head. 
    it’s such a hard situation. I’ve fought for so many years for support but nothing seems to help. 

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