Fascinations

Hi and welcome to the community. 

I'm assuming that your son is autistic? I'm not sure how to deal with this as he's already receiving counselling, although as he's not disclosing to the counsellor, can you tell them and see if they can guide him to open up? 

There is an article in the advice and guidance section of this website that may be of help:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/about-autism/focused-and-dedicated-interests

Hi, 

Thank you for your reply. Yes my son is autistic and ADHD. 
I have spoken to the councillor and we have also gone down the prevent route but he wasn’t showing any extremism activity online and I limit what he goes on. He also didn’t meet the criteria to be a concern, the police officer said it was neurodiverse and mental health. CAMHS won’t touch him as he doesn’t meet the threshold. I am just really concern and even when I say stop saying the things that he continues. He gets upset and says he can’t get them out of his head. The councillor said to tell him to stop but I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do. 
Thank you for the link, I will have a look. 

I’m so sorry - this sounds incredibly difficult. You’re obviously doing all the right things - and you’re asking for help but by the sounds of it not getting enough help. Is the issue of not being able to ‘get things out of his head’ essentially OCD/intrusive thoughts? He definitely needs help with this - it must be so distressing for him. What a shame that he started researching such a distressing subject. Is he himself very keen to get help with this? If he is then I would push hard for more help for him. Do you feel he is on any level a risk to himself or to others? My heart really does go out to you - this must be so distressing and disturbing for both of you. I would think that time away from looking at things about it online would help - if he is willing to have a complete tech break for a period of time. Presumably he is ‘feeding’ his obsession with continually looking at things about it online? Try to keep the lines of communication open between you - if he is talking to you about this it is a positive - even though I can see how upsetting it must be for you. If it’s any comfort I suspect that this situation might not be as uncommon as you might imagine. 

I’m so sorry - this sounds incredibly difficult. You’re obviously doing all the right things - and you’re asking for help but by the sounds of it not getting enough help. Is the issue of not being able to ‘get things out of his head’ essentially OCD/intrusive thoughts? He definitely needs help with this - it must be so distressing for him. What a shame that he started researching such a distressing subject. Is he himself very keen to get help with this? If he is then I would push hard for more help for him. Do you feel he is on any level a risk to himself or to others? My heart really does go out to you - this must be so distressing and disturbing for both of you. I would think that time away from looking at things about it online would help - if he is willing to have a complete tech break for a period of time. Presumably he is ‘feeding’ his obsession with continually looking at things about it online? Try to keep the lines of communication open between you - if he is talking to you about this it is a positive - even though I can see how upsetting it must be for you. If it’s any comfort I suspect that this situation might not be as uncommon as you might imagine. 

It sounds like he is really suffering deeply because of this. My son has ocd and it’s so incredibly hard to suffer in this way - and to essentially be in a constant battle with your own thoughts. It’s mental torture really - so very hard. You are obviously fully committed to doing all you can to help him - and it’s wonderful that he has a mother like you who is doing all she can to help him. My son has had therapy (some time ago now but it he had CBT sessions for about a year) but it didn’t seem to help him much. I just try to be there for him, and comfort and reassure him as best I can, and to try to help him not to blame himself for his intrusive thoughts. It’s so important that we do all we can to help them to not feel alone with all the distressing things they are experiencing. I always try to remind my son that it is the nature of ocd and intrusive thoughts that it ‘chooses’ things we find alarming and distressing - and that it’s not his fault that these things are ‘in his head’. We can’t unthink the things that are in our heads, all we can do is to try to accept they are there, understand it’s just the nature of things like autism, ocd and anxiety that we can obsess over things, and hopefully if we can achieve some acceptance and understanding of why these problems occur in us then the anxiety around it can reduce - at least a little. The problem with this kind of distress is that it’s exhausting- and the more tired the mind gets the more the mind is prone to struggling and paranoia etc - so it can be a vicious circle. I think that anxiety and pressure overall also exacerbates ocd/intrusive thoughts. Are there other areas of your son’s life where you could find ways to reduce the stress and pressure he is under - so that his overall anxiety could be lessened? I always find with my son that when he is under any extra pressure or stress his ocd/intrusive thoughts get worse. 
This must be so hard for you - I’m sorry. My son suffers greatly with his ocd and I find it heartbreaking- I so want to help him and feel like such a failure when I can’t. I’m autistic as well - so I have my own struggles which only makes me more aware of how hard it is for him. Currently we are both struggling a lot - and there is so little support and we often feel very alone with our problems. Sometimes it’s totally overwhelming and I worry about the future. 

Hi, thank you for your message. He does want help and he has said that the thoughts are in his head all the time. It’s more ocd and thinking about what has happened in history and why. I feel that he is inquisitive about the history of things and he takes things literally. 
His social media has been checked by the police through prevent and it all came back clear, hes not joined any groups and doesn’t follow specific people. I check his phone regularly too so I keep a check on things as much as I can. School are aware and they referred to prevent which is safeguarding young people against radicalisation. After I requested it and brought up my concerns.  
He is doing Nazi Germany for his History GCSE so he has gained a lot of information through school so I think it stems from this. 
I don’t feel he’s a threat to himself or others. When he says things he gets upset so he is beating himself up for saying it but he often has an outburst at home and then takes a deep breath and apologises and says I had to get it out of my head. 
it’s such a hard situation. I’ve fought for so many years for support but nothing seems to help.