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Fascinations

Babs1980

Hi, I have a 16 year old son who has fixations on history, mainly Hitler and war. The fascinations have taken over his life. He says he wants to get the thoughts out of his head. He is having counselling at the moment but he masks really well so he won’t disclose any of these thoughts to the councillor. 
He’s life has been taken over by these thoughts. I have tried to say to him that what he is saying is inappropriate. I don’t think I can post on here as I don’t want to cause offence.

im reaching out for any advice on how to get him a new interest as this one is so unhealthy and he is really struggling as are we as a family. Everyday is a debate or struggle and he can’t accept that we have different opinions. 

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community. 

    I'm assuming that your son is autistic? I'm not sure how to deal with this as he's already receiving counselling, although as he's not disclosing to the counsellor, can you tell them and see if they can guide him to open up? 

    There is an article in the advice and guidance section of this website that may be of help:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/about-autism/focused-and-dedicated-interests

  • in reply to Lotus

    Hi, 

    Thank you for your reply. Yes my son is autistic and ADHD. 
    I have spoken to the councillor and we have also gone down the prevent route but he wasn’t showing any extremism activity online and I limit what he goes on. He also didn’t meet the criteria to be a concern, the police officer said it was neurodiverse and mental health. CAMHS won’t touch him as he doesn’t meet the threshold. I am just really concern and even when I say stop saying the things that he continues. He gets upset and says he can’t get them out of his head. The councillor said to tell him to stop but I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do. 
    Thank you for the link, I will have a look. 

  • in reply to Babs1980
    Babs1980 said:
    The councillor said to tell him to stop but I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do. 

    One approach could be to treat him like an adult and lay out the reasons why this interst will get him into rouble.

    If he has issues with having this sort of discussion with you then are there any other family members he looks up to that could do it for you?

    Explaining why people consider it "bad" to focus on the evil doers can help, although the fact that the exact same thing is going on in the USA and nobody is doing anything meaningful about it is going to work against this. As   says, a counsellor or therapist can do this if you don't feel comfortable doing it yourself, plus they can help your son with other issues around autism that he may not talk to you about.

    He probably lacks a good working knowledge of social norms and to him he is simply doing what a historian does, and the added sweetness of the forbidden subject will make it more attractive. Laying these out will help him learn and build his ability to work better in society.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you so much, it’s actually good speaking to a random on the internet that feels the same concerns as me. That it causes red flags and could develop into more worrying behaviour. 
    we have just started with a clinical Pyschologist due to medical trauma years ago and I have briefed him about the concerns. So hoping he will discuss things and my son may open up a bit more. 
    it just feels more than autistic interests. 
    I will look into a more specific psychotherapist.
    Thank you   

Reply
  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you so much, it’s actually good speaking to a random on the internet that feels the same concerns as me. That it causes red flags and could develop into more worrying behaviour. 
    we have just started with a clinical Pyschologist due to medical trauma years ago and I have briefed him about the concerns. So hoping he will discuss things and my son may open up a bit more. 
    it just feels more than autistic interests. 
    I will look into a more specific psychotherapist.
    Thank you   

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