Fascinations

Hi and welcome to the community. 

I'm assuming that your son is autistic? I'm not sure how to deal with this as he's already receiving counselling, although as he's not disclosing to the counsellor, can you tell them and see if they can guide him to open up? 

There is an article in the advice and guidance section of this website that may be of help:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/about-autism/focused-and-dedicated-interests

Hi, 

Thank you for your reply. Yes my son is autistic and ADHD. 
I have spoken to the councillor and we have also gone down the prevent route but he wasn’t showing any extremism activity online and I limit what he goes on. He also didn’t meet the criteria to be a concern, the police officer said it was neurodiverse and mental health. CAMHS won’t touch him as he doesn’t meet the threshold. I am just really concern and even when I say stop saying the things that he continues. He gets upset and says he can’t get them out of his head. The councillor said to tell him to stop but I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do. 
Thank you for the link, I will have a look. 

Babs1980 said:

The councillor said to tell him to stop but I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do. 

One approach could be to treat him like an adult and lay out the reasons why this interst will get him into rouble.

If he has issues with having this sort of discussion with you then are there any other family members he looks up to that could do it for you?

Explaining why people consider it "bad" to focus on the evil doers can help, although the fact that the exact same thing is going on in the USA and nobody is doing anything meaningful about it is going to work against this. As Lotus  says, a counsellor or therapist can do this if you don't feel comfortable doing it yourself, plus they can help your son with other issues around autism that he may not talk to you about.

He probably lacks a good working knowledge of social norms and to him he is simply doing what a historian does, and the added sweetness of the forbidden subject will make it more attractive. Laying these out will help him learn and build his ability to work better in society.

Babs1980 said:

The councillor said to tell him to stop but I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do. 

One approach could be to treat him like an adult and lay out the reasons why this interst will get him into rouble.

If he has issues with having this sort of discussion with you then are there any other family members he looks up to that could do it for you?

Explaining why people consider it "bad" to focus on the evil doers can help, although the fact that the exact same thing is going on in the USA and nobody is doing anything meaningful about it is going to work against this. As Lotus  says, a counsellor or therapist can do this if you don't feel comfortable doing it yourself, plus they can help your son with other issues around autism that he may not talk to you about.

He probably lacks a good working knowledge of social norms and to him he is simply doing what a historian does, and the added sweetness of the forbidden subject will make it more attractive. Laying these out will help him learn and build his ability to work better in society.

Thank you so much, it’s actually good speaking to a random on the internet that feels the same concerns as me. That it causes red flags and could develop into more worrying behaviour. 
we have just started with a clinical Pyschologist due to medical trauma years ago and I have briefed him about the concerns. So hoping he will discuss things and my son may open up a bit more. 
it just feels more than autistic interests. 
I will look into a more specific psychotherapist.
Thank you   

Babs1980 said:

He knows what to say to the councillor and says what they want to hear.

I would say it is time to change to a different counsellor - maybe a psychotherapist who has experience with this sort of thing - both autism and unhealthy obsessions. Brief them about the current situation with the counsellor being manipulated and they should be able to manage this.

Babs1980 said:

Wants to be on his own and do what he wants. 

I would raise this to the therapist as well - he may think this way but society does not and it will not treat him kindly when his "special interest" gets out. That is in my opinion I should add.

He may not like society but he has to live within it so understanding the sort of price he could pay for his opinions needs to be impressed in my opinion.

Babs1980 said:

I do have lots of film of him having his meltdowns as at first people didn’t believe me when I  explained what he was like and the concerning things he comes out with. 

Also something to brief the therapist about - the behaviour this could develop into is worrying and he is at a stage when you can still influence it or at least encourage better management of it.

There are a lot of major red flags here from what you describe so I would advise changing to a much more capable psychotherapist to help him with his issues and hopefully instill better management of his issues.

Good luck.

Lastly please remember that I am just some random person off the internet - don't take my advice unless you have researched what I have discussed.

Thank you.

yes we have tried lots of different techniques and family members to talk to him. I am his safe person ( mum) and he is worse with me but he feels he can take his mask off. 
He doesnt get phased by the facts or the fact that people think it’s ‘bad’ he says it’s right and it should have gone further. 
He knows what to say to the councillor and says what they want to hear. So will say things like ‘ it would be a boring world if everyone was the same race’ but then on the way home from the councillor the mask comes off and he starts having a meltdown about race, sexuality, murder, rape, terrorists etc. At first I thought that he was scared of certain things but I’m not so sure. 
He does struggle with the social norms and he doesn’t want anyone to care about him. Wants to be on his own and do what he wants. 
it’s all so complicated! 
we have had several different methods of support and therapy over the years. He is very much a closed book, mask is completely on at school. 
I do have lots of film of him having his meltdowns as at first people didn’t believe me when I  explained what he was like and the concerning things he comes out with. 
At his CAMHs assessment the support worker turned around to me and said ‘ just because he has different opinions doesn’t mean he has mental health issues and that is life’ but my response was that these opinions are concerning and he feels that what he thinks everyone should too.