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Hello! Daughter got diagnosed today

Nat1930

Hi 

just introducting myself here as I just found out my 10 years old daughter is Autistic but I had a feeling since she was a toddler that she was neurodiverse.

I was very upset this morning as I was hoping I was wrong… however I have changed my outlook - I can work on my relationship understanding my daughter more and help her to be positive individual. It is emotional dyregulation / social skills she struggles with. 

My question is that should I tell her now (she is doing okay/ happy / not realising she is different although she struggles to make friends esp girls - she got lot of friends (boys) or wait till she is struggling emotionally? I don’t want her to feel different ( I mean in a nice way) 

Any books recommendations I should look at ? 

Thanks 

from a new proud mum of autistic daughter 

Parents

  • Well done for changing your outlook.

    In reply to your question about whether to tell her now or wait until she is struggling emotionally I would pose a question to you.

    If your family home was next to a canal would you wait until your daughter had fell in and was in difficulties before helping her learn how to swim?

    I appreciate that you don't want her to feel different however I reflect upon a childhood knowing I was different even tho' I didn't have a name or reason for it - I regret this.

    My daughters worked out for herself themselves as probably autistic in early adulthood - before I got my own diagnosis!  Could have saved a bit of grief had they not have to work it out for themselves I believe.

    They're smart and that helps - as does a loving family - for this reason I reckon you and yours will be OK too

    Best wishes

Reply

  • Well done for changing your outlook.

    In reply to your question about whether to tell her now or wait until she is struggling emotionally I would pose a question to you.

    If your family home was next to a canal would you wait until your daughter had fell in and was in difficulties before helping her learn how to swim?

    I appreciate that you don't want her to feel different however I reflect upon a childhood knowing I was different even tho' I didn't have a name or reason for it - I regret this.

    My daughters worked out for herself themselves as probably autistic in early adulthood - before I got my own diagnosis!  Could have saved a bit of grief had they not have to work it out for themselves I believe.

    They're smart and that helps - as does a loving family - for this reason I reckon you and yours will be OK too

    Best wishes

Children
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