Hello! Daughter got diagnosed today

My son just got diagnosed today too, he's 11. At our meeting he was there and they told him directly, and they were pretty good with how they approached the subject -talked about needing different people in the world and everyone is different, some people think differently and are better at some things than others. I highlighted some stuff he's really good at! They made sure he was okay and could ask questions (he didn't obviously), but he has a follow up appointment too which I thought was helpful -having structured points to talk about it might help in the future as a family thing I was thinking, a certain time he knows I'll ask (routine and structure are good). Plus we have a system were we have post it note conversations, I throw in lots of silly things to make it fun (like do you prefer burgers or pizza?) and we also ask deeper questions. Gives him a safe space to ask things if he wants to that can be difficult to say out loud, especially if your autistic. 

I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, so I had a way of talking about it and normalising it too before hand. All this makes it sound like I know what I'm doing but I really don't!

I am about to look at this book list and see what more I can do.

This sounds great. This is the approach we took when my youngest was approaching being diagnosed - we emphasised in multiple ways how being different is in many ways a positive thing, we focused on all his wonderful qualities and also on how having a greater understanding of what helps a person helps them to get the help they need - which makes life easier. I think the key thing is to start laying the groundwork before the diagnosis actually happens. We were doing this for at least 2 years before he got the official diagnosis.  He already knew he was ‘different’ though - because he developed Selective Mutism on starting school. 

This sounds great. This is the approach we took when my youngest was approaching being diagnosed - we emphasised in multiple ways how being different is in many ways a positive thing, we focused on all his wonderful qualities and also on how having a greater understanding of what helps a person helps them to get the help they need - which makes life easier. I think the key thing is to start laying the groundwork before the diagnosis actually happens. We were doing this for at least 2 years before he got the official diagnosis.  He already knew he was ‘different’ though - because he developed Selective Mutism on starting school. 

Yeah it does make it easier to talk to them about it if they have been struggling in an area, as they already know they are different and don't know why, it can make them feel okay about it.

My son too is more obvious with his struggles as they relate to school work more -he did have social problems but as his interest is gaming, in the last few years finally meant he's more socially accepted now, though high school will be difficult.