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Son's autism assessment

K17

Hello

I was just hoping to get some advice. My son is 11 and has an autism assessment next week. I tried talking to him about it but he is very upset and angry and although I'm trying to reassure and say the right things, I seem to be getting it wrong. He does not find it easy to talk about his feelings or engage when he's upset so it's hard to have a proper conversation. He seems to view it as a negative thing. I really don't know whether he will get the diagnosis or not which in a way makes it harder. I went to the school a few years ago with concerns I had about him such as hating clothes, sensory issues, not going to the toilet at school, struggling with changes and emotions and they started the process. He presents as quiet and shy but not stereotypically autistic. School hadn't noticed anything so I feel I'm the only one who notices. My husband isn't supportive. Hates labels and feels I've upset a happy child and potentially ruined his future when all I want is to support him to have the best life possible as the person he is. He starts secondary school next year and I worry the issues he has may become more problematic. I would appreciate any support or advice in how to help him through the assessment and not see it as so negative. I apologise if I've said or done anything wrong. I'm happy to be educated and hear advice. All I want is the best for my son but I feel so alone and unsupported with this and hate to thing I've done something to cause him to be so unhappy.

Parents

  • Thank you all for the support and advice. It is appreciated. I think a main concern is that although I've already given lots of information they won't 'see' anything when they meet him so he won't get a diagnosis. So either he genuinely doesn't have a diagnosis of autism or he does but they won't see the things I see which will lead him to struggle more in life unnecessarily. Whether he has a diagnosis or not there are still things I worry that will impact his future. But overall it's hard that this seems like it will be difficult for him and he sees it as a negative.

  • in reply to K17

    Don't assume they won't be able to see it, assuming he doesn't just point blank refuse to talk. It is about what you say, what you don't say, and how you say it.

    For example they may ask a question, the actual answer doesn't matter. It is how you interpret the question, what detail you put in the answer, how you phrase it etc. This is harder to hide and to convincingly fake.

    There are patterns and subtle clues.

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  • in reply to K17

    Don't assume they won't be able to see it, assuming he doesn't just point blank refuse to talk. It is about what you say, what you don't say, and how you say it.

    For example they may ask a question, the actual answer doesn't matter. It is how you interpret the question, what detail you put in the answer, how you phrase it etc. This is harder to hide and to convincingly fake.

    There are patterns and subtle clues.

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