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Son's autism assessment

K17

Hello

I was just hoping to get some advice. My son is 11 and has an autism assessment next week. I tried talking to him about it but he is very upset and angry and although I'm trying to reassure and say the right things, I seem to be getting it wrong. He does not find it easy to talk about his feelings or engage when he's upset so it's hard to have a proper conversation. He seems to view it as a negative thing. I really don't know whether he will get the diagnosis or not which in a way makes it harder. I went to the school a few years ago with concerns I had about him such as hating clothes, sensory issues, not going to the toilet at school, struggling with changes and emotions and they started the process. He presents as quiet and shy but not stereotypically autistic. School hadn't noticed anything so I feel I'm the only one who notices. My husband isn't supportive. Hates labels and feels I've upset a happy child and potentially ruined his future when all I want is to support him to have the best life possible as the person he is. He starts secondary school next year and I worry the issues he has may become more problematic. I would appreciate any support or advice in how to help him through the assessment and not see it as so negative. I apologise if I've said or done anything wrong. I'm happy to be educated and hear advice. All I want is the best for my son but I feel so alone and unsupported with this and hate to thing I've done something to cause him to be so unhappy.

Parents

  • Tell him that he doesn't have to tell anyone the result. But knowing is secret information that can make his life easier. It is better to know now than at 40 or 50 and find out life didn't need to be so hard. It is not a negative thing, just a difference, but it requires some knowledge to understand.

    He might even find he can do some things better once he knows and accepts it. I would have liked to have known a lot earlier but I was also too prejudiced (and times were different).

    Knowledge is power. It can make learning and dealing with people easier. It can help avoid burnout, which is really not nice. The confusion that will come later by not knowing is not going to be helpful.

    And if course the result may be negative, in which case he will know and there is nothing to worry about.

Reply

  • Tell him that he doesn't have to tell anyone the result. But knowing is secret information that can make his life easier. It is better to know now than at 40 or 50 and find out life didn't need to be so hard. It is not a negative thing, just a difference, but it requires some knowledge to understand.

    He might even find he can do some things better once he knows and accepts it. I would have liked to have known a lot earlier but I was also too prejudiced (and times were different).

    Knowledge is power. It can make learning and dealing with people easier. It can help avoid burnout, which is really not nice. The confusion that will come later by not knowing is not going to be helpful.

    And if course the result may be negative, in which case he will know and there is nothing to worry about.

Children
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