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New here, and newly diagnosed

Lindyloo

Hello all

Newly diagnosed. Already Mum to a lad (20) who was dx'd at 8. Today I got my dx at the ripe old age of 53. It confirmed what I suspected but is it normal to be tearful and somewhat solemn for the younger version of yourself who had to endure so much 'othering', bullying and abuse? I've had so many memory recalls today which have left me feeling absolutely devastated.

I know I can be gentler to myself going forward, but how do you learn to snap out of re-experiencing the traumas of the past as viewed through this new autistic lens?  I feel very raw at the moment, though also relieved that I was never a difficult child - just autistic albeit the term wasn't identified for a long time after.

Thankyou.

Parents

  • The overall feeling depends on your preconceived notions of what it means for you, which can be addressed over the coming months, and what sort of life you have led.

    I had lots of issues, so the reframing has been hard and taken many months. I was also burnt out when I got diagnosed and it resurrected old trauma. But I have processed most it now.

    The initial relief gave way to a huge sense of loss. But is now leading to understanding, calmness and empowerment. But I am atypical. 

    Don't feel bad, whatever you feel. Just allow yourself to feel it, and when ready look at where the feelings are coming from.

    Also don't blame yourself. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. 

    Give yourself so time abd space and don't feel guilty if you don't want to do much for a while 

    Good luck.

Reply

  • The overall feeling depends on your preconceived notions of what it means for you, which can be addressed over the coming months, and what sort of life you have led.

    I had lots of issues, so the reframing has been hard and taken many months. I was also burnt out when I got diagnosed and it resurrected old trauma. But I have processed most it now.

    The initial relief gave way to a huge sense of loss. But is now leading to understanding, calmness and empowerment. But I am atypical. 

    Don't feel bad, whatever you feel. Just allow yourself to feel it, and when ready look at where the feelings are coming from.

    Also don't blame yourself. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. 

    Give yourself so time abd space and don't feel guilty if you don't want to do much for a while 

    Good luck.

Children
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