Hello there,
I am new to this forum and am hoping to possibly connect with people that may have similar struggles to those I have. I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year and whilst I haven't had a formal autism diagnosis (I moved county and as such my assessments were cancelled halfway through completion due to area funding) I have taken the stance to self diagnose. I haven't got it in me yet to begin the process of diagnosis again after months of waiting. I have struggled with bouts of depression and crippling anxiety (particularly social) since as long as I can remember and it was the numerous trips to mental health professionals that first suggested I am autistic.
I am married but sadly because of my struggles my husband and I are separated. Marriage never felt right but I suppose you could say I am easily led if other people seem happy for me even if I don't. I also finally realised I am asexual which brings about its own difficulties being in a relationship with a heterosexual and neurotypical individual. My marriage lasted 16 months.
One of my biggest struggles is this huge contradiction; I feel crippling lonliness yet at the same time get so anxious at the thought of meeting people. I feel like I can't connect to people, including family. Outside of work I don't speak to anyone except myself and my cat and I worry that I will become a bitter old lady because socialising is just so difficult. It feels at times like I am the only person in the world that feels like this but I know I can't be.
I don't mean to sound 'woe be me', I am voicing thoughts and struggles which someone may resonate with.
On a more uplifting note, hello everyone and happy November