Parent of a child just diagnosed

Hi all, my child has just been diagnosed with Autism.  We know in school he masks and is clever academically, however he struggles emotionally and has meltdowns when he comes back home. He struggles with his friendships, he gets bullied, physically and he will go back to the person that has hurt him because he doesn't understand he needs to stay away. We've tried explaing it to him but I'm wondering if anyone else had experienced this and what they did that worked.

He struggles with going to the toilet at school and needs to be told to go because he will leave himself so desperate through the fear of his work not being complete. He's very slow with writing so doesn't like doing to the toilet if he's in class that requires writing. Hoping to have a meeting with the senco regarding support in school.

He's not taking the diagnosis well. We've explained its not a bad thing and its there to help and support him now. I've also bought some books to help him understand what the diagnosis means and that others see the world like he does. 

Any advice appreciated. 

Thank you Blush 

Parents
  • Hello from America, Jazz9902!

    I’ve experienced a few of these with my daughter (C, age 7), but I’m not so certain our solution is going to be much of help to your situation. I’ll share just in case, though.

    He struggles with his friendships, he gets bullied

    C was bullied primarily on the bus last year. Thankfully, only verbal abuse, but she would still come home crying. It didn’t help that she was struggling really hard in her general classroom as well, so the bus bullying was just the icing on the cake. We almost engaged with the parents of the children doing the bullying and the bus driver, but an opportunity came up that we could switch her classroom/bus. She ended up on a bus with other social/emotional needs children, so there was a bus aide. Having a bus aide, I think, was really key to her getting away from any sort of abuse on the bus.

    He struggles with going to the toilet at school and needs to be told to go

    That was a tricky one. C took years to get potty trained, so she had a long span of time afterwards where she would get so distracted (she’s ADHD as well) she would soil herself on accident. She’s mostly grown out of it by now, but during the problem it took communicating with her teachers to get the help she needs. So your meeting with senco is the right path to take, I think.

    I also had issues with this as a child. A little TMI, but i did grow out of it, though I still had some constipation issues through high school. It may never be fixed overnight for him to learn the executive functioning required to put a task down and go to the restroom, but over time he should be able to manage it.

    I hope that helps!

Reply
  • Hello from America, Jazz9902!

    I’ve experienced a few of these with my daughter (C, age 7), but I’m not so certain our solution is going to be much of help to your situation. I’ll share just in case, though.

    He struggles with his friendships, he gets bullied

    C was bullied primarily on the bus last year. Thankfully, only verbal abuse, but she would still come home crying. It didn’t help that she was struggling really hard in her general classroom as well, so the bus bullying was just the icing on the cake. We almost engaged with the parents of the children doing the bullying and the bus driver, but an opportunity came up that we could switch her classroom/bus. She ended up on a bus with other social/emotional needs children, so there was a bus aide. Having a bus aide, I think, was really key to her getting away from any sort of abuse on the bus.

    He struggles with going to the toilet at school and needs to be told to go

    That was a tricky one. C took years to get potty trained, so she had a long span of time afterwards where she would get so distracted (she’s ADHD as well) she would soil herself on accident. She’s mostly grown out of it by now, but during the problem it took communicating with her teachers to get the help she needs. So your meeting with senco is the right path to take, I think.

    I also had issues with this as a child. A little TMI, but i did grow out of it, though I still had some constipation issues through high school. It may never be fixed overnight for him to learn the executive functioning required to put a task down and go to the restroom, but over time he should be able to manage it.

    I hope that helps!

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