• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 73 subscribers
  • Views 283 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Feeling a little lost and alone

jsneddon92

Hello,

I'm 33 years old and received my Autism diagnosis late last year. The first few months felt like normal day life, I guess the masking continued and hard to admit it but a little bit ashamed of my diagnosis. Still to tell my boss, even tho I know I'm struggling in a new role. I think I didn't want to accept who I am and kept trying to be "normal" that all changed when my daughter who is 4 was diagnosed also with Autism.
since then my mental health spiralled and has been a roller coaster since the summer but not with many ups, I feel like I've let my daughter down by not owning my Autism and how can I expect to lead her in life like this, it should be a blessing I have the tools to support her better.

Tried therapy but not really getting me anywhere so trying to find others who may be in a similar situation or have been and a community of support may help out.

Typed this out for days but today is the time to talk!

Parents

  • Welcome to the community here.

    jsneddon92 said:
    Still to tell my boss, even tho I know I'm struggling in a new role.

    Have you notified the HR dept yet? This is the best place to start and ask how to have the conversation with your boss as they may have a procedure for this. They may also have no clue but it is worth a try.

    Before that boss conversation I would think what things in the workplace cause you issues - really write them down in a list and try to write beside them exactly what it is about each that cause you issues and what these issues are.

    Having captured that on paper you can start to add notes on what could make them easier for you. Some will be easy (eg softer lighting, being able to wear headphones in the office, having a fixed start time, lunch break etc. 

    Some will be less practical, such as getting the whole team to be explicit in their requests from you, explaining things clearly every time etc so you will have to manage your expectations on what they will offer.

    Make sure the meeting with your boss is minuted - ask for someone to be there to take the minutes if you feel unsure you can manage it all at once.

    jsneddon92 said:
    I feel like I've let my daughter down by not owning my Autism

    We are only human and all have out failings, but you have identified it and taken steps to correct it which is all anyone can ask. Be that better person from now on and give yourself the credit for what you are achieving.

    You have to learn first before you can really be the best version of yourself and help your daughter so don't expect this to be an immediate, siesmic shift.

    jsneddon92 said:
    Tried therapy but not really getting me anywhere

    I found therapy was the single best thing I ever did, but it has to be with a therapist who really understands autism (preferrably with autistic children themselves) who has walked that walk and has learned how to be the help you need.

    If you don't have that yet then change therapists. Interview them before committing and make sure they have the credentials. In essence treat it like a work project and be sure you are getting the right person.

    You are doing all the right things now - admitting your issues then owning them, understanding your commitments then finding ways to fulfill them and seeking help in doing all this the best way you can.

    We are here for you, whatever you need to ask or talk about.

    Whatever it is you need, you got this!

  • in reply to Iain

    Hi, thank you for this! I already feel like I've connected with some really knowledgeable people, and makes the next stages in life feel more easier because I've got branches to reach out and speak too!

    Im definitely going to look into another therapist then, maybe I did have the wrong one and your right I have to treat them like a job and chose the right one! I think i'm making a start and going in the right path but an expert in the mind is probably very helpful when I all gets messed up and a little bit dark

    also really like your advice to make a list for work on what could work for me when speaking to them. I believe they will help support where they can and it is better to ask for help before drowning.

    i really appreciate your advice and kind words towards me today! Pray tone2 

Reply
  • in reply to Iain

    Hi, thank you for this! I already feel like I've connected with some really knowledgeable people, and makes the next stages in life feel more easier because I've got branches to reach out and speak too!

    Im definitely going to look into another therapist then, maybe I did have the wrong one and your right I have to treat them like a job and chose the right one! I think i'm making a start and going in the right path but an expert in the mind is probably very helpful when I all gets messed up and a little bit dark

    also really like your advice to make a list for work on what could work for me when speaking to them. I believe they will help support where they can and it is better to ask for help before drowning.

    i really appreciate your advice and kind words towards me today! Pray tone2 

Children
No Data