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Feeling a little lost and alone

jsneddon92

Hello,

I'm 33 years old and received my Autism diagnosis late last year. The first few months felt like normal day life, I guess the masking continued and hard to admit it but a little bit ashamed of my diagnosis. Still to tell my boss, even tho I know I'm struggling in a new role. I think I didn't want to accept who I am and kept trying to be "normal" that all changed when my daughter who is 4 was diagnosed also with Autism.
since then my mental health spiralled and has been a roller coaster since the summer but not with many ups, I feel like I've let my daughter down by not owning my Autism and how can I expect to lead her in life like this, it should be a blessing I have the tools to support her better.

Tried therapy but not really getting me anywhere so trying to find others who may be in a similar situation or have been and a community of support may help out.

Typed this out for days but today is the time to talk!

Parents

  • I'll pray for you. That sounds tough. I don't have any children and am a lot older than you. Perhaps listening to Auticate might help - it's a youtube channel which has a lighthearted look at autism and it's challenges and often free downloads of suggestions to cope etc. It's a man who explains the issues and his wife speaks sometimes too. It looks at the good side of autism too and how to make the best out of the struggles. 

    I am still waiting on my diagnosis and this channel helped me accept that I am before even getting the final piece of paper. For my part, my advice is learn about autism, the good the bad and the ugly so to speak and then you can have some self awareness. Also Mom on the spectrum youtube channel might help you she is autistic and has two autistic children. 

    Be gentle with yourself you did not let your daughter down. You were just exploring and learning yourself. It's normal to be shocked or upset and repelled by part of us we don't understand. Help yourself understand and that will lighten the burden and help you see the superpower of autism in yourself and your daughter. 

    God bless you

  • in reply to DaughteroftheKing

    Thank you so much for your message and time to reply, as someone who doesn't get emotional very often reading yours has brought a tear to my eye and shown me again, I am ok who I am and now find a way to be the best me!

    I will definitely pop them podcast on YouTube and dive in to learning more about Autism and helping me understand myself and now my daughter. The worlds is open and more welcoming to Autism but we still have so much to learn. I am excited in a way to do this journey with my daughter as well but it's just very tough somedays

    but thank you again it's helping me build the strength to go on this :)

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  • in reply to DaughteroftheKing

    Thank you so much for your message and time to reply, as someone who doesn't get emotional very often reading yours has brought a tear to my eye and shown me again, I am ok who I am and now find a way to be the best me!

    I will definitely pop them podcast on YouTube and dive in to learning more about Autism and helping me understand myself and now my daughter. The worlds is open and more welcoming to Autism but we still have so much to learn. I am excited in a way to do this journey with my daughter as well but it's just very tough somedays

    but thank you again it's helping me build the strength to go on this :)

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