Hello everyone.
I wanted to say Hello, this all feels a bit new and strange. I am not the person in my household who has Autism, it is my partner. He was diagnosed a couple of years and it has been quite a shock to him.
I am not sure I know what I looking for, but I guess I just want to know there is a community of people out there who live and support someone with Autism. I often feel alone and feel as if people don't understand what we go through as a support system.
Hi and welcome to the community! 
Just to help manage your expectations, posts on this forum do tend to come mostly from autistic people or those considering an assessment.
Allistic (ie non-autistic) partners and spouses do also read and contribute - and you are absolutely just as welcome here as anyone else. My only concern is that you might find a more "partner-specific" support group more helpful as a main source of support (ie moral support, sharing experiences with others in a similar position, etc).
One good place to find additional sources of support is the NAS's Autism Services Directory. For example, this group offers both in-person and online meetups:
Support Group for Spouses/Partners of Adults with Autism (previously known as Asperger Syndrome)
You might also find some groups on Facebook - this one, for example, seems to have plenty of members and has lots of recent activity:
Facebook - For Spouses and Partners of Autistic People
The NAS also has some advice here that you might find helpful:
NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people
You and your partner might also find this book helpful. It aims to help couples like you to thrive in their relationships. I prefer it to other books on the subject, which can tend to demonise (and so also deeply upset) the autistic partner:
Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner
A couple of points to mention:
- The latest diagnostic manuals no longer have an "Asperger Syndrome" classification; people are now instead diagnosed with autism / Autism Spectrum Disorder.
- Between discussing one scenario and the next, the author often switches the identity of the autistic party - ie in one scenario, the male is autistic, but in the next it's the female, etc. Although this has done for a good reason (to avoid reinforcing any stereotypes), it can be a bit frustrating and require some extra effort when reading - but I do think it's worth it.
If you think it might be helpful, you could also consider couples counselling, ideally with a counsellor who has experience in helping autistic people.
Finally, your partner might find the resources here helpful:
Again, you are most welcome here - I do hope that you won't take my additional suggestions the wrong way.
Hi and welcome to the community!
Just to help manage your expectations, posts on this forum do tend to come mostly from autistic people or those considering an assessment.
Allistic (ie non-autistic) partners and spouses do also read and contribute - and you are absolutely just as welcome here as anyone else. My only concern is that you might find a more "partner-specific" support group more helpful as a main source of support (ie moral support, sharing experiences with others in a similar position, etc).
One good place to find additional sources of support is the NAS's Autism Services Directory. For example, this group offers both in-person and online meetups:
Support Group for Spouses/Partners of Adults with Autism (previously known as Asperger Syndrome)
You might also find some groups on Facebook - this one, for example, seems to have plenty of members and has lots of recent activity:
Facebook - For Spouses and Partners of Autistic People
The NAS also has some advice here that you might find helpful:
NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people
You and your partner might also find this book helpful. It aims to help couples like you to thrive in their relationships. I prefer it to other books on the subject, which can tend to demonise (and so also deeply upset) the autistic partner:
Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner
A couple of points to mention:
- The latest diagnostic manuals no longer have an "Asperger Syndrome" classification; people are now instead diagnosed with autism / Autism Spectrum Disorder.
- Between discussing one scenario and the next, the author often switches the identity of the autistic party - ie in one scenario, the male is autistic, but in the next it's the female, etc. Although this has done for a good reason (to avoid reinforcing any stereotypes), it can be a bit frustrating and require some extra effort when reading - but I do think it's worth it.
If you think it might be helpful, you could also consider couples counselling, ideally with a counsellor who has experience in helping autistic people.
Finally, your partner might find the resources here helpful:
Again, you are most welcome here - I do hope that you won't take my additional suggestions the wrong way.
