Just over a month ago I was referred for an autism assessment by a psychiatrist who advised me to do some research on autism and look back at my life through the lens of my findings. Following this advice, I soon began to experience something like a slow explosion of relief. My life began to make more sense to me than it ever had before. Then came a deep sadness for a really messed up childhood. Then fits of absolute rage. Then the relief again, tinged with a new excitement about getting another go at life armed with a better understanding of my needs. Then despair. I'm fifty-five years old, [recently] unemployed and pretty much alone. Does anyone have any insight or wisdom from lived experience to impart on this cavalcade of feelings that have been galloping over/through me? I'm exhausted.
