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J4mie

Hi all,

I hope you are all well.

I am looking to try and get some clarity around how I am as a person.

I was diagnosed as having autism 7 months ago at the age of 35. I also was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression many years ago, and I am medicated for that.

I have tried counselling, CBT, hypnosis, various antidepressants and exercise daily along with a relatively healthy diet, however I still feel sad 95% of the time.

I am happily married, do not have children or debt and have a stable job.

My problem is that i cannot seem to find any acceptance of who I am, and never feel content, constantly chasing a new temporary high, through buying new things or booking holidays, however when these items arrive or I am on the holiday, I still do not feel happy. 

My confusion here is whether the reason I feel this way is due to the autism or the depression.

I was just wondering if anyone can relate, and what their thoughts are on this situation.

My quality of life seems to be getting worse the older I get. When I was in my 20s I managed to socialise regularly (with alcohol), however now I do not, and do not enjoy it when I do. All I think to myself is when can I go home.

I have not spent time with my friends or family this year, and this is starting to lead to them feeling like this is me having an issue with them.

Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and have a nice day

  • I see there was a suggestion of spending time in nature. I find going for a walk with others reduces the socializing pressure as you don't need to be talking all the time.

  • Sounds like you are missing something that you need more than want. Is there anything you are holding back from pursuing due to self doubt or lack of available free time? With autism it can be difficult for some people to even establish what it is they need. Take a long think and try see if there’s anything that could improve your moods and lower the anxiety levels no matter how small that change may be. Personally I find being alone in nature very healing, it’s a common mention by many autistic people here actually, 

  • in reply to profdanger

    Hi.

    Thank you for your reply and advice.

    My friends do know but I don't think they fully understand really.

    I will give your advice a try.

    Thanks again 

  • Good morning from America J4mie,

    I have ASD/ADHD/anxiety/depression. I don’t feel sad quite as much as 95% of the time, but it is still a lion’s share of the time. One thing that I think is also different between us is that I do feel a little better when I socialize, but it HAS to be in moderation.

    One advice I have in terms of socialization is maybe invest in meeting friends and family online? Then you can keep your creature comforts of home at hand while still being “out there.” You also have more control over how long a meeting is when you’re online. I use Discord to chat with my friends via text and video call, and I usually feel pretty good after having a good session of chatting with them.

    Also do your close friends know about your Autism and depression diagnosis? Having a few that know could also be helpful, because then you shouldn’t feel as bad if you need to skip out on outings to recharge or cut out early from an engagement.