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Seeking Advice on Supporting an Undiagnosed Adult with Autism/ADHD

BL7

Hello everyone,

I'm new to this group and would really appreciate your advice.

We are currently facing challenges with our 27-year-old son, who may have undiagnosed autism or ADHD. Until recently, he had been trying very hard to manage things on his own, but since 2023 we’ve noticed some significant changes in his behavior, and he’s been struggling more than before.

He now finds it very difficult to work or engage with the community, and we’re concerned about how best to support him going forward. We suspect that his recent reactions and difficulties may be related to long-standing, undetected neurodivergence. He did not sleep well! 

If anyone has experience with similar situations, we’d be grateful for any guidance, resources, or next steps you could recommend, especially in terms of assessment, support services, or strategies that could help him feel more stable and included.

He refuses to accept this (autism or adhd) and bitterly deny to see the GP. 

Thank you so much for your time and support.

BL

Parents

  • It will be hard if he does not want to engage. It is hard to see anything wrong from the inside. I did the same thing and pushed away everyone who tried to help as I thought I was being manipulated. But then it was a different time and there was less info and more stigma.

    If he masks well the GP may say there is no issue. I don't do very well with GPs.

    I have not slept well for decades, which really does not help.

    I think all you can do is maybe suggest doing the online tests and perhaps point out the struggles, in a non-critical way. You just want to sow the seed of the idea and encourage self-discovery. Not to be critical, but to allow more self compassion and to find strategies that make life a bit easier. There is no need for anyone to know, but it can help him to know himself.

    I pushed myself too hard.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Agreed about the online tests. They certainly worked for me. I began to suspect I might be autistic after watching one of Chris Packham’s documentaries and I did the tests in order to prove to myself that I wasn’t. And here I am!

  • in reply to Wordsmith

    The problem I had nearly 40 years ago, and even recently if I'm honest, was I viewed it very negatively. I didn't want to the disabled, nor did I want to be excluded from defence jobs, although I ended up never getting into that and I went into telecoms.

    I think the issue is how to frame it. It is called a disorder which makes it hard to embrace till you have read a lot more than the average person has.

    So you struggle on, pushing too hard trying to prove to yourself you can do it, when really you need to be a bit smarter.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    I agree! You are very strong. Keep pushing forward, you can do it! Wishing you all the best. 

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