My daughter was diagnosed with Autism 3 years ago. Since then I have been doing a lot of reading and research.
Im not very good at wording things sometimes but basically I’ve realized that I am autistic although I’ve not been diagnosed. I am 51 years old.
Just now I’m writing and re writing this.
Anyway, i struggle with a few things. Memory, which was hard when i had to speak about my daughter in her assessment. I remember what we did but what was said, I never remember conversations, unless I make a real effort to and repeat it. socially that was hard when I was younger when my friends were telling stories and i never could, and had no idea why.
Also socially i have conversations in my head all the time thinking of what I would say in certain situations, have done this a very long time. Now I know why I try not to as it’s exhausting mentally, it I hate feeling unprepared and out on the spot where I don’t know what to say.
many times I’ve arranged to go out with friends as at the time I’ve felt ok had energy and feeling good, it when the day came I’ve been too tired to go out, and would make excuses as i couldn’t say ‘I was to tired’ made no sense to me.
Mentally I had had enough and couldn’t do anymore, now I realise it’s due to burnout.
Have noticed i copy what others say, I’ve always been really conscious of saying the right thing and always avoid conflict or upsetting anyone.
Also I have always been an anxious person. I recently split from my husband and really struggled with it as it was my decision. One of the hardest things I have done, I was off work for a few months as a result and on anxiety/depression meds. I still take them now, year and a half later.
im not gonna go list everything but wanted to share and join this community to understand more and read others stories and advice.
thank you.
