Loneliness

Hello Rach, this is a common topic of discussion on here and you are certainly not alone in feeling this way.

There are a few books on the subject that can make for interesting reading:

An Aspie's Guide to Making and Keeping Friends - Attwood, Tony, Evans, Craig R., Lesko, Anita (2015)
eISBN 9781784501259

Friendships The Aspie Way - Wendy Lawson (2006)
ISBN-10: 1 84310 427 X

Social Skills for Teenagers and Adults with Asperger Syndrome - A Practical Guide to Day-to-day Life - Nancy J., Ph.D. Patrick (2008)
ISBN 9781843108764

Social Skills Groups for Children And Adolescents With Asperger's Syndrome - A Step-by-step Program - Kim Kiker Painter (2008)
ISBN 1843108216

Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism - Grandin, Temple, Barron, Sean (2017)
ISBN 9781941765388

This forum is a great place to chat, ask questions and debate things with little expectation from others, so it can be great when your energy is low and you still need a bit of contact.

Rach.Mo said:

I crave friendships but I seem to have difficulty making and maintaining them.

What do you see as the reason these relationships don't last?

For many of us it is because we think we do not "fit in" well enough to be expected while others feel that we expect others to change the way they behave to accommodate our needs and others have said they make too many mess-ups socially and end up excluded.

As we get older it also gets harder to make friends than back in school times but it is possible if hard work. 

Another great thing for making friends is to have a shared interest - what are your special interests? Can these be used to get you in touch with like minded people?

Thanks for your reply Iain. I suppose the fact there are books written on this topic shows that I’m not alone, as well as you saying it’s a common topic on here. 

I wonder whether I feel these friendships don’t last for multiple reasons including:

I’m currently very depressed and my self-esteem is very low, so my head is on a loop constantly telling me that people won’t want to spend time with me/ find me fun/ interesting company. 

maybe I am different to neurotypical people and that means I behave differently and am not good company, I don’t know. I especially feel that I struggle with humour and also talking about intimate things. 

i don’t really have special interests in the way that lots of autistic people seem to, but I’m interested in open water swimming, I have been along to some sessions on my own, but find initiating making and maintaining conversations with others almost impossible. 

I have been thinking I may like to take up golf as I like walking and I like mini golf. I’m seeing a social prescriber soon so maybe linking me in with some other people for this is something that they may be able to help me with.

Thanks again for your reply. 

Rach.Mo said:

I’m currently very depressed

Depressed or burnt out?

You are communicating here fine. You just need the opportunity to do the same in the real world.

I think both depressed and burnt out. Thank you, it’s reassuring to me that I’m communicating fine here :) 

I think both depressed and burnt out. Thank you, it’s reassuring to me that I’m communicating fine here :)