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Recently ASD diagnosed and wanting more of a social life!

Xine

Hello!

I have finally been diagnosed with autism, after years of struggling with my mental health. I finally feel like I can now get to know myself, and understand how and why I react the way I do! After 40 (odd!) years of being told I'm "weird", it's a huge relief!

My daughters have also been diagnosed, one of the many reasons why I wanted my own assessment!

The problem i have is that I'm very lonely. I want a social life, but cannot cope with the responsibilities that go with that! I'm just wandering how other people deal with this? As someone who has masked a lot in their life, to be able to be myself in social situations is terrifying. Especially around people who i have known for years. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 

Parents

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

    I'll address the social life element below, after some introductory information.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis" - including one covering how you might feel during the coming days / weeks / months - which you might find them helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book. It discusses various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    In respect of socialising, besides hopefully enjoying this community and making some connections here, you might also find it helpful, as a starting point, to read the advice in these articles:

    NAS - Loneliness - includes links to examples of some other autistic people's experiences of loneliness and how they cope.

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    Perhaps the best suggestion I can offer is to ask your GP for a referral to a social prescriber (I've just completed a course with ours). The prescriber's /  link worker's role is to work with you, potentially over several sessions, to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your practical, social and emotional needs (so it's not just about socialising). 

    Your goals could include helping you to find new friends or social groups, for example. The article below explains more (it relates to NHS England, but the model operates throughout the UK):

    NHS England - Social prescribing

    You might be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory - whether through a local NAS branch, or other types of support group or social programmes:

    NAS - Autism Services Directory

    NAS - Branches

    You might be able to find some local groups that fit with your interests and hobbies by searching on Facebook and/or Google.

  • in reply to Bunny

    Thank you! That's a lovely lot of information that I can look at. Thank you for your help Grinning

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