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Newly Diagnosed 18-year-old Girl!

Alice_Ella

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to introduce myself to the group. I was recently diagnosed with autism last month. Looking back, I’ve always felt different, especially throughout my childhood and school years. College was particularly tough for me; the pressure of A-Levels combined with intense social anxiety led to burnout. That’s why I decided to take a gap year before heading to university.

This break gave me the time and space to reflect on my experiences in school and how my behaviour often differed from those around me. Over time, I began to recognise traits in myself that are commonly associated with autism, which eventually led me to seek a diagnosis. The process took about six months, so by the time I received confirmation, I had already started to come to terms with the likelihood of being autistic. As a result, I wasn’t too shocked when the diagnosis was confirmed.

Receiving the diagnosis brought a huge sense of relief. It gave me an explanation for so many aspects of my personality and behaviour that I’ve struggled to understand—and that others have often misunderstood. It’s helped me begin to make sense of myself, though I’m still adjusting and know that it will take time.

Even though I’m still early in my journey, I hope to eventually get involved in autism advocacy and contribute to charities. I especially want to raise awareness for girls and women who are often overlooked or misdiagnosed with conditions like anxiety or depression—something I personally went through. I spent a long time feeling alone and confused, and it wasn’t until I began learning about how autism presents in girls that I finally felt seen.

I’d really love to connect with others who’ve had similar experiences at school. I was always labelled as the "quiet girl" who rarely spoke, and that led to low self-esteem and social isolation. Making and maintaining friendships has always been a struggle for me, and at the moment, I don’t have any close friends, which can be very hard. Some days, it’s difficult to even leave the house.

Anyway, thank you for reading this long introduction! I’m just really grateful to have found a space with people who understand and share similar experiences.

  • Dear Alice_Ella,

    Welcome to the online community! Thank you for sharing with us. I can see you've already had some great responses. 

    It is wonderful to hear that you might want to look into advocacy work! 

    Best wishes,

    Olivia Mod

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Yes, I’ve noticed that in a work environment, it can be harder to make friends since you’re around the same people all the time. But it is what it is — I’m just glad I get to practice my social skills at work, even if I don’t always click with everyone.

    I’ve also been doing more cooking during my gap year to help prepare for adult life!

    Thank you for your kind message :)

  • in reply to Alice_Ella

    It sounds like you are doing well.

    It is good to push and get out of your comfort zone if you can, especially when other pressures are not too big.

    You have dove the right thing in getting out and building confidence. This will help you.

    Today's new thing will be tomorrow's familiar routine. Everything has to be new and scary once.

    Uni is really the one time in life where you are around like minded people of a similar age. It is easier to find people to do things with, which makes the anxiety much easier to deal with when going out as you are not alone.

    In most work places you rarely find many similar people.  I hope you make friends there. Before mobile phones and email it was very hard to keep in touch with people. It's easier now to keep in touch after uni.

    The work experience may well give you a more mature outlook that the others won't get till they do there year out. It should help you.

    Make sure you know how to cook a few simple things.

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I'm a woman in my sixties, but I also found school very difficult to cope with and was quiet in class.

    It's good that you have discovered you are in the spectrum early in your adulthood - I didn't discover that I was until I was in my mid fifties. I've always had problems with friendships, but luckily I met my partner when I was young and we've supported each other over the years.

    I hope you enjoy chatting with us.

  • in reply to Bunny

    Hi Bunny, thank you for the helpful information.

  • in reply to Damojo

    Hi Damo, thank you for your message.

    That’s exactly what I’m looking forward to—the freedom from a toxic high school environment and the opportunity to meet new people who are a better match for me. Coming from a small town, it’s been really difficult to meet new people, so I’m excited for that change.

    I think university will be a great way to push myself out of my comfort zone, build my confidence, and get back into the routine of socialising. Right now, I can go days without seeing anyone, so being around people daily will hopefully help with that.

    Getting my diagnosis has been incredibly important to me. It’s given me a stronger sense of identity, and I’d really like to contribute to the community in any way I can.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Hi Stuart333, thank you so much for your kind message. I truly believe that taking a year off was the right decision for me at the time. That said, I have been a bit worried about feeling overwhelmed by the academic side of things, especially after taking a year away from studying.

    I’m feeling quite anxious about starting university this September—it’s a big change, and I’ll be moving away from home. I’ve always found major transitions and meeting new people quite difficult. However, I know that going to university is something I really want to do to help me build my independence and confidence.

    My goal during my gap year was to take time to relax and try new experiences. I got my first part-time job, which really helped me become more confident socially and gain some valuable work experience. A year ago, I couldn't even leave the house by myself, but now I can take the bus into town on my own—something I’m really proud of.

    I also started learning to drive this year, which has definitely been a challenge, but I’m happy to say I have my driving test booked for August, and I’m feeling confident about it.

    I’ve pushed myself to join gym classes and social clubs—something I never thought I’d be able to do because of my social anxiety. I even went to my first concert ever, and it was amazing! (Any other Robbie Williams fans out there?)

    I’m proud of everything I’ve achieved during my gap year, though I’ll admit there have been some isolating days—especially on days when I’m not working. I’ve struggled to build friendships outside of work, which is one reason why I’m really looking forward to university. Even though it feels scary, I’m hopeful it will help me be more social and less lonely.

  • I found school tough, but uni was a breath of fresh air. People were just more mature and more accepting. I still found it hard to make any real connections, but I felt I could relax a bit.

    My daughter started uni last year. Like you, she was also the quiet girl who found it hard to fit in in school. She was anxious about uni, but we told her to just follow a script and say, "Hi, I'm P—." to everyone in the first few weeks. She gave it a go, met some nice people and they've become good friends. She loves the whole uni experience and the absence of "the mean girls" from school. She seems much happier and more confident.

    It's great to read that you intend to "lean in" to your Autism and contribute to the community. Good on you. You'll probably meet your tribe and make great new friends. The best of luck.

  • Hello, I'm pleased your diagnosis was reasonably quick and makes sense to you. It may take some time for if to fully sink in, to find what your strengths and challenges are and how to make the best of things. 

    I have read that ASD in females can be quite different. It seems an area that has really changed recently and will continue to change.

    Taking a year off seems sensible, I wish I had done the same. Although once you get out of academia it may be more of a shock to the system when you get back in.

    Going to uni is a challenge due to all the requirements on top of just studying. I found it hard.

    What do you hope to do in your gap year? It may be good to do something that will give you confidence, if you can.

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis" - including one covering how you might feel during the coming days / weeks / months - which you might find helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book. It discusses various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Immediately following my diagnosis, this book also taught me some important principles and enabled me to make some helpful changes - perhaps you might find it helpful, too:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!