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Hi - a worried and stressed mum!

Kell_2811.

Hi,

We’ve just started to get the ‘ball rolling’ in getting support for our 8 year old daughter who we have always suspected is neurodiverse. Behaviour has been managed at home until she started junior school last September when meltdowns have gone into overdrive and anxiety sky rocketed. She’s now also displaying self harming behaviours. We’ve reached out to our local family team and have qualified for her to receive ELSA  at school. Our problem is that school see nothing. She masks throughout the day and then is exhausted at home. I’ve always felt like our concerns have been dismissed as ‘she’s fine.’ We finally have a meeting with the SENDCO next week and wondered if anyone has any tips for getting them to listen so we can get help for our little girl and for our family!  

thank you Relaxed️ 

Parents

  • Keep a note of the precise nature, times and duration of worrying or problematic behaviour at home. This will sound cold, but perhaps recording some of the most troubling behaviour on a smartphone might help give you some incontrovertible evidence. 

    If any one you have contact with has any real knowledge of autism, they will know that intelligent autistic children (and adults)  can and do mask in public. Then the exhaustion and strain of masking can cause a rebound effect in behaviour and visible distress at home.  This is well known and you should not be disbelieved by anyone competent.

    It is also apparent that autistic people can show no obvious outward signs of their autistic natures until their abilities to cope socially are exceeded, which seems to be the case with your daughter's progression to Junior School, where more demands are made of children than at Infant School and classes are often larger and teaching more structured.

  • in reply to Martin

    Hi, 

    My Daughter is 8yrs old too, diagnosed with Autism in May after we paid privately. We have suspected that she was on the spectrum since she was 3, at infant school she was labelled naughty, rude and unable to follow instructions. The one thing I always remained strong with was being her voice and advocating on her behalf. School is tough and sometimes you have to battle to get support in place. My advice would be to go armed with a list of things that would make your Daughter’s time at school better, more social breaks throughout the day, access to a quiet space when she is feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated, remove unnecessary pressures to conform with the uniform and group activities, school plays etc. Good luck

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  • in reply to Martin

    Hi, 

    My Daughter is 8yrs old too, diagnosed with Autism in May after we paid privately. We have suspected that she was on the spectrum since she was 3, at infant school she was labelled naughty, rude and unable to follow instructions. The one thing I always remained strong with was being her voice and advocating on her behalf. School is tough and sometimes you have to battle to get support in place. My advice would be to go armed with a list of things that would make your Daughter’s time at school better, more social breaks throughout the day, access to a quiet space when she is feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated, remove unnecessary pressures to conform with the uniform and group activities, school plays etc. Good luck

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