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Hello, I'm new and I don't know what to write here.

Haela

Hello. My "name" is Haela. I am 28, 29 in a few days. I have not been formally diagnosed with Aspergers however I have struggled with communicating with people for as long as I can remember and have ruined relationships through my inability to understand how to conduct myself towards people, deal with change even on a small level and react to loud noises such as shouting in arguments very very badly. I am ashamed to admit that it has at times made me curl up in a ball on the floor covering my ears crying. Or running off to vomit because of the stress. Which understandably means the relationships end because I seem like a crazy lady. I don't feel crazy on the inside though. I know this is not normal and I really have been trying not to react that way. I have been doing some reading and seem to tick pretty much all the boxes for aspergers even down to the inability to tolerate electrical noises and certain types of electronic music being painful in my ears on the high notes. It was a bit of a revelation that other people seem to have similar problems.

I want to be normal. I want to have good relationships with people. I don't really have any friends and the ones I do have I don't know if when they say I can talk to them it's just being nice and polite or if it's just something people say.

This is part of my search of learning how to be human because I feel like everyone else just works "differently" and I want to be involved. I am so alone as I am an ex foster child so I have no family to turn to.

Please can I have some advice?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Wow, your story sounds ever so familiar! Having just gone through diagnosis myself at 56 I would like to offer some comfort. I self diagnosed to begin with and then had another confrontation and bust up so went to my GP with my story of a life of confontation and misunderstandings and asked if a diagnosis would be possible. GP referred me to a specialist and he immediately confirmed the diagnosis. The relief I have felt since then is AMAZING! Suddenly a thousand incidents in my life make sense, suddenly I know what I need to learn in order to fit in better.

    On a practical note I can recommend a book that I have been reading - "Living Well on the Spectrum" by Hilary Gaus. It has practical techniques and things to do to make life work for you. Other books are available and it may not suit you best but it's probably worth a look?

    I feel tremendously positive with my new diagnosis. Everyone that I have told has been supportive. Many people immediately say that they know someone with it in their family or in their group of friends. Other people don't know anything but are often intrigued - it isn't seen as a scary thing to most people.

    You may find that getting a specialist referral takes time - it may be worth speaking to someone at NAS for advice with this. The Autism act is supposed to make this straightforward but it doesn't work very well in practice yet.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Wow, your story sounds ever so familiar! Having just gone through diagnosis myself at 56 I would like to offer some comfort. I self diagnosed to begin with and then had another confrontation and bust up so went to my GP with my story of a life of confontation and misunderstandings and asked if a diagnosis would be possible. GP referred me to a specialist and he immediately confirmed the diagnosis. The relief I have felt since then is AMAZING! Suddenly a thousand incidents in my life make sense, suddenly I know what I need to learn in order to fit in better.

    On a practical note I can recommend a book that I have been reading - "Living Well on the Spectrum" by Hilary Gaus. It has practical techniques and things to do to make life work for you. Other books are available and it may not suit you best but it's probably worth a look?

    I feel tremendously positive with my new diagnosis. Everyone that I have told has been supportive. Many people immediately say that they know someone with it in their family or in their group of friends. Other people don't know anything but are often intrigued - it isn't seen as a scary thing to most people.

    You may find that getting a specialist referral takes time - it may be worth speaking to someone at NAS for advice with this. The Autism act is supposed to make this straightforward but it doesn't work very well in practice yet.

Children
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