fathers day

I did not see your post yesterday.  My hope for you is that, today, you might have the opportunity to recover for a while from yesterday's overstimulation by your visitors.

In similar circumstances, I find I need to time-limit social / relative interactions. 

I can no longer endure vague multi-hour events - so I try to arrange a "flying visit" to them (chat over coffee, or only lunch shared). 

If people visit me at home I use a written invitation with a time guideline / management of expectation. 

These days, when arranging more impromptu visits (to me, or to them), I have introduced to relatives the confirmation agreement phrase e.g. "not before 10:00 am".  This enables me to safely operate my morning routine without fear of unwarranted / dis-regulating interruption, plus, it telegraphs / reinforces my boundary on this topic.

If the weather permits visiting outdoors - I find that helps me experience the peopling as more manageable.

If, indoors, it all gets too hubbub / exuberant / shrill ...it is time to deploy ear plugs.

When planning a visit (to me / to them) I try to assemble one or two things reflecting my recent interests - to share with them - it is participation on my terms for a few minutes at least - maybe photos of somewhere visited / a book enjoyed / an article about a future development / something I have made / something supporting one of my particular interests or of a common denominator interest.

If the visit is at another relatives house, I try to build in a movement break (ideally solo, or maybe in the company of just one other person).  Perhaps: a short walk to a local shop or post box on an errand, view something in bloom in their garden, or join them on a walk with their dog.

In case a movement break does not seem likely, to at least pulse or focus the chatter, I might have prepared a boardgame to share, or I might take with me something art / craft style as the socially acceptable form of fidget items / stimming (unfortunately, my remaining relatives are not neurodivergent-friendly).

These days, I also do find that the rule needs to be: if I find that I am not up for socialising - it needs to be with either rescheduled, or the event continues in my absence.

I did not see your post yesterday.  My hope for you is that, today, you might have the opportunity to recover for a while from yesterday's overstimulation by your visitors.

In similar circumstances, I find I need to time-limit social / relative interactions. 

I can no longer endure vague multi-hour events - so I try to arrange a "flying visit" to them (chat over coffee, or only lunch shared). 

If people visit me at home I use a written invitation with a time guideline / management of expectation. 

These days, when arranging more impromptu visits (to me, or to them), I have introduced to relatives the confirmation agreement phrase e.g. "not before 10:00 am".  This enables me to safely operate my morning routine without fear of unwarranted / dis-regulating interruption, plus, it telegraphs / reinforces my boundary on this topic.

If the weather permits visiting outdoors - I find that helps me experience the peopling as more manageable.

If, indoors, it all gets too hubbub / exuberant / shrill ...it is time to deploy ear plugs.

When planning a visit (to me / to them) I try to assemble one or two things reflecting my recent interests - to share with them - it is participation on my terms for a few minutes at least - maybe photos of somewhere visited / a book enjoyed / an article about a future development / something I have made / something supporting one of my particular interests or of a common denominator interest.

If the visit is at another relatives house, I try to build in a movement break (ideally solo, or maybe in the company of just one other person).  Perhaps: a short walk to a local shop or post box on an errand, view something in bloom in their garden, or join them on a walk with their dog.

In case a movement break does not seem likely, to at least pulse or focus the chatter, I might have prepared a boardgame to share, or I might take with me something art / craft style as the socially acceptable form of fidget items / stimming (unfortunately, my remaining relatives are not neurodivergent-friendly).

These days, I also do find that the rule needs to be: if I find that I am not up for socialising - it needs to be with either rescheduled, or the event continues in my absence.