Diagnosed at 47, wish I didn’t know

I deal with that by not expecting support of any kind.

Hi - hopefully you'll come to accept your AuDHD in time, whatever that is for you.  For me its taken weeks and months - I'm more comfortable with who I am, so hope you feel the same soon.

You're right about support from NHS there isn't much TBH- am awaiting NHS Talking Therapies but the wait is a few months, and I've not heard much on this forum, which may speak it yourself.

Do search for local adult support groups (mostly charities) in the NAS Service Directory - and reach out to them.  There's one local to me that run online workshops and you can contact them, they run drop-in sessions but these are daytime, so no good if you work like me.  There may be a similar group in your area - but from what I read on here, what's available locally does vary.

1-2-1 Therapy options, as far as I know, are largely pay for it yourself or if you have health insurance that may cover it.

I'm 5 months in from finding out I'm Autistic, I wasn't assessed for ADHD but I feel for me that would of been good to know one way or the other.  I wasn't aware of AuDHD at the time and was entering burnout and needed help fast, which I did get via my insurance.  From therapy I've been screened with GAD and Social Anxiety - but at moment just see them integral to my ASD, so not seeking diagnosis for those right now.

For various reasons I've done limited disclosure, even 1 parent and sister don't know, but my manager & HR do know.  I feel disclosure is very personal and so its down to the individual who they disclose to, also when, how + what they disclose. 

Wishing you well.

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

I can also relate to how you're feeling. Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about getting our diagnosis / an explanation for our past difficulties, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion, uncertainty, and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more. So please don't worry - it's normal! 

For me, as for many others here, my diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my various ASD-related difficulties.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

I'd suggest chasing up your assessment report, as it might contain some actions for your GP to follow up on, along with some advice for you.

For example, therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Nexus-7 said:

Does anyone know of support groups for late diagnosed people? I live in east London.

In addition to hopefully finding this community helpful, you might like to ask your GP for a referral to a social prescriber. Their role is to work with you, potentially over several sessions, to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your practical, social and emotional needs.

This could include helping you to find local support groups, for example. The article below explains more:

NHS England - Social prescribing

You might be able to find some local groups via the the NAS's directory and/or through a local NAS branch:

NAS - Autism Services Directory

NAS - Branches

You might also be able to find some local groups by searching on Facebook and/or Google, including "autism" and your home area in the search phrase.

It's pretty standard to go through a huge mix of emotions post diagnosis, I know I did and loads of other on here too.

I was diagnosed at 49, I was lucky to get some psychoeducation sessions through my work AXA scheme post diagnosis. But the main thing that's helped is researching it myself and talking to others, on here especially.

The trick is to figure out how you can use the new knowledge about yourself to better protect and treat yourself in life. Knowing why you feel the way you do at times where others don't is better than feeling like the odd one out and not knowing why.

There's loads of information on this site and others, start off with something like this https://reframingautism.org.au/service/welcome-pack/

I found it useful there's a pack you can download.

If your ADHD and autistic you'll find some things different, the two combined come with some unique traits. For example I find caffeine and stimulants calm be down a lot and help me focus, but too many and I find it let's my autism run riot so I become over sensitive and sometimes paranoid. Finding a balance can help. It's worth looking for "AUDHD" information as that'll help explain the coexistence traits.

It's been 18 months for me and I still flip between wishing I'd known sooner to wishing I never knew to wishing I had neither and was neuro typical. 

Try and be kind to yourself, don't get overloaded by it all or start to think of yourself in too much of a different way than before. 

I mostly felt that I had missed out on a lot of self-knowledge, by not having had an earlier diagnosis. I could have coped better if I had had an inkling as to why I seemed different to most other people. I did actively seek an autism diagnosis, once I worked out that I was probably autistic, so my diagnosis was overwhelmingly positive for me.

You are still you. Don't be paranoid. People will still see you, just as they did before unless you say something.

I assume you went to your GP for a reason. Do the diagnoses not help you to understand yourself?

I understand you may be confused, it takes time.

Thank you Martin. But did you struggle with the diagnosis at first? 

Most late diagnosed people find little or no organised support is available. This is one of the reasons sites like this exist. When you can interact with people whose experiences overlap with your own, things can feel easier and less daunting. All autistic people are autistic from birth, so you have always been autistic. You are exactly the same person you were before being diagnosed. The diagnosis may help in giving you reasons for the way you are. For me, diagnosed at 59, it allowed me to forgive myself for past shortcomings and failings.