Hello I’m Ali. I have ASD and am finding life difficult to cope with. There’s always stuff happening and it always feels really hard to get through it. I always feel things so intensely, even when it’s really not my problem.
Being autistic is hard. It's lonely, isolating and I've not got used to never being able to make friends and fit in anywhere. It feels like I'll be forever lonely. Certain parts of Autism are real downers, no other way of looking at it, but there are some more amazing Autistic traits that I absolutely love!
One of my faves is the intensity of my interests and ability to hyperfocus on them and the things around me...
And I feel things so intently. I feel literally everything! It’s hard to explain but everything has a feeling to it, sometimes it’s bad and other times it’s good. Like when I’m in the woods, I can feel the nature and I hear and smell everything so much more – the bark of the trees, leaves rustling, the smell of wild flowers, the sky above, smelling rain when it falls… hearing the birds, or when the cows moo. I’m really sensitive to feeling things, no one else in my house gets this.
When I get those kinds of feelings and senses, the good ones it’s an amazing feeling. I feel like I’m dancing, singing all within my mind and body. Like my soul is flying through everything and embracing it.
I don’t know if any other Autistics experience this or if it’s just a me thing. If you do experience this or similar I’d love to know!