Hi everyone

Hello,

When I was 18 I had only used a phone a handful of times to speak to someone (this was pre-mobile phones). I had to call a supplier in my first job and it took me 1.5 days to build up the courage and I got pressured by my boss to get on with it. I used to stammer a lot if I got nervous and often my mind would be two thoughts further on before I'd got the current sentence out. Strangely I ended up working for mobile phone companies and spent hours a day on phones.

And pre-internet, there was only face-to-face or memos.

Written communication has always been easier.

I have used a private car forum for 20 years (the only social media I use).
I think initially you are nervous about what other people may think of your comments, so self-censor. You also think other people know more than you or your opinion may be wrong.

These fears are unfounded. Your opinion is your opinion, it is not wrong, and others may well agree but they can't if you don't say anything.

To any lurkers I would suggest trying. Don't make it hard, just say something short, a sentence or two and see what happens. People will often respond, or if not (maybe they have nothing to add you said it perfectly) then just try a few times and see. Something will work.

Forums are more successful the more people contribute. And what you get out of something is related to what you put in. 

Hello,

When I was 18 I had only used a phone a handful of times to speak to someone (this was pre-mobile phones). I had to call a supplier in my first job and it took me 1.5 days to build up the courage and I got pressured by my boss to get on with it. I used to stammer a lot if I got nervous and often my mind would be two thoughts further on before I'd got the current sentence out. Strangely I ended up working for mobile phone companies and spent hours a day on phones.

And pre-internet, there was only face-to-face or memos.

Written communication has always been easier.

I have used a private car forum for 20 years (the only social media I use).
I think initially you are nervous about what other people may think of your comments, so self-censor. You also think other people know more than you or your opinion may be wrong.

These fears are unfounded. Your opinion is your opinion, it is not wrong, and others may well agree but they can't if you don't say anything.

To any lurkers I would suggest trying. Don't make it hard, just say something short, a sentence or two and see what happens. People will often respond, or if not (maybe they have nothing to add you said it perfectly) then just try a few times and see. Something will work.

Forums are more successful the more people contribute. And what you get out of something is related to what you put in. 

Hi Stuart, hope you’re having a nice day. I just wanted to ask you, as you have worked for a mobile phone company, did it take you a long time to get more confident, do you still get anxious or nervous now when talking with people. I’m trying to get better at socialising, but I don’t know if I will ever be confident talking to people face to face. I really struggled as a teenager and even in my twenties I didn’t like talking to people. I’m 34 now and I still find it difficult, it’s not as bad when I’m with my Mum or Stepdad, but if I’m out on my own walking my dog. I try to avoid talking to people even if they say good morning I just get anxious and really nervous.