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Weight lifted!

Twinkle74

Hello there.  This website has lifted a huge weight which I have been living with for the last 5 years.  I am the girlfriend of a highly intelligent, funny, silly, hard working man (41).  Last year Simon said to me that he had seen some information on Aspergers and said that "It was him".  I had never really known about it before, and we never really discussed it.  It wasn't until recently that after yet another huge fall out about his lack of empathy/rudeness etc that he posted a newspaper artical through my door.  It was written by the partner of an adult male who had undiagnosed aspergers.  Suddenly everything made sense!!  It described my boyfriend exactly.  We have had so many fall outs over the years, and now I understand what has been happening.  I have been in touch with a cousellor who specialises in Autism and Aspergers, and after thinking about it/worrying about it for a week or two, I am hoping he is finally going to speak to her this evening. 

Is there any help?  Can he learn new behaviours (eg. to give me a cuddle/realise I am upset etc)?  

I love Simon dearly and would love nothing better than to have a family together.  Is there hope?

Thanks for reading. Smile 

Parents

  • Hi Twinkle,

    Read up as much as you can on Aspergers, it is very common that the love and attention an Aspie can show in the first few years of a relationship can dwindle, it does not mean they love you less they just struggle to feel the need to continue proving it!  i have been with my Aspie husband for 27 years but the last eight or so have been hard, it is not easy but no relationships ever are. you can only base it on the here and now not what might be in the future.  If i had known about Aspergers 27 years ago it would have made no difference i loved the man.  We only discovered about Aspergers since our son now 7 was diagnosed with it and realised that was my husnband also.

    Loads of books out now on a relationship with someone with Aspergers (some on kindle) have a read inform yourself but then just base your decision on how you get on together and if you think your relationship could work.

    Good luck

    Puffin

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  • Hi Twinkle,

    Read up as much as you can on Aspergers, it is very common that the love and attention an Aspie can show in the first few years of a relationship can dwindle, it does not mean they love you less they just struggle to feel the need to continue proving it!  i have been with my Aspie husband for 27 years but the last eight or so have been hard, it is not easy but no relationships ever are. you can only base it on the here and now not what might be in the future.  If i had known about Aspergers 27 years ago it would have made no difference i loved the man.  We only discovered about Aspergers since our son now 7 was diagnosed with it and realised that was my husnband also.

    Loads of books out now on a relationship with someone with Aspergers (some on kindle) have a read inform yourself but then just base your decision on how you get on together and if you think your relationship could work.

    Good luck

    Puffin

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