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Hi, newly diagnosed, no idea what to do next

Piper

Over five years of waiting and I finally have confirmed that I’m autistic. It was mostly obvious to be, the signs were more than visible, though I still had that ‘what if I’m not and am just an imposter’ thought process whirring round my head more than I wanted. Now I have been told by a professional I feel I can relax a little. I have room to breathe again and take this all in.

One thing I’ve read about that I seem to do a lot is that I’m masking when I do things like work and going in to town, this they say is my way of coping with outside pressures, but it’s not recommended and I should stop because it’s unhealthy. I don’t understand how to stop this though, it feels natural to me to do it and I don’t think I could not do it if I wanted to. I think I’ve been masking every day since I was at school. It explains why I’m so fatigued now though. Masking gets me through each day. I can't imagine going to work and not masking, how else would I pass off as the 'me' every one knows me as there.

It feels great knowing I have autism but it’s also left me feeling very alone and isolated. I have this knowledge of who I am now but I don’t know what to do with this knowledge or if anything even can be done.

I waited so long for this and now I finally have what I was waiting for and it’s very much like ‘what do I do now?’ and I don’t know the answer to that.

Parents

  • Welcome to the community and congrats on your diagnosis. I’m sure you will find a way forward, my advice would be to take your time and try to be kind to yourself. All the best.

  • in reply to White_Dragon

    Hello, thanks so much. It’s really heartwarming to receive so much welcoming and understanding in my first post here. I receive no understanding in RL in person, my family don’t understand my differences and would in no way understand autism so I won’t be telling them. It’s not something I feel I need to share tbf it’s more self knowledge and self validation. It explains the differences, why I am a bit more awkward and peculiar compared to those around me. Masking gets me through the working day but I can’t keep this up so will be looking for alternatives if I can find any.

    Thanks, I appreciate your kind advice. I’ll try to be kind to myself but I’ve always found that difficult to do, I’m much kinder to others than I am to myself. I don’t know why. I easily get frustrated with myself, something I’m working on not doing. One day at a taime.

    Have a nice afternoon/night/day.

  • in reply to Piper

    Hopefully you will find the community helpful I certainly do. It’s good to be among folks that generally understand and can offer some good tips/help. I know what you mean about being hard on yourself I’m similar in that respect. I can sympathise with the masking thing it is hard work and tiring. I’m off work myself at the moment but soon will have to return Scream

  • in reply to Piper

    Thanks Piper I think so, hopefully it will be ok and appreciate the support 

  • in reply to White_Dragon

    I've already found it helpful tbh, just this afternoon and evening, meeting you and everybody else I feel so much has lifted off of me and it feels good like I can breathe and be comfortable as myself. I'm glad you have found it helpful too, I imagine so many here find this a really good place to be. Will you be able to return to work gradually? I think work is the most tiring thing ever. lol. I hope your return to work goes well and the stress isn't too bad. Here if you ever need to chat about it.

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  • in reply to White_Dragon

    I've already found it helpful tbh, just this afternoon and evening, meeting you and everybody else I feel so much has lifted off of me and it feels good like I can breathe and be comfortable as myself. I'm glad you have found it helpful too, I imagine so many here find this a really good place to be. Will you be able to return to work gradually? I think work is the most tiring thing ever. lol. I hope your return to work goes well and the stress isn't too bad. Here if you ever need to chat about it.

Children